The Sheep Dog's Spot

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

2012-02-02T15:31:00.003-05:00

Passed a sign today that said, "No signs allowed." Ironic, huh? It did have other signs around it.

My favorite sign is in Murrysville: "Bickers and Bickers, Attorneys at Law." If I couldn't have My Cousin Vinny as my lawyer, I'd want someone who bickers and bickers.

Saw a T-shirt, which is kind of like a sign, that was meant, I hope, for a pregnant police woman. It said: "Good Cop/Baby Cop."

Q. What sign were you born under? A. Maternity Ward

The title, of course, is a reference to the song by The Five Man Electrical Band, which I always liked (having once had long hair and being unemployed) even though the last verse implies churches are money-grubbing (perhaps some are).

2012-02-02T06:55:00.003-05:00

It's not Groundhogs Day, it's Candlemas, also known as the Feast of the Presentation. The story of the Presentation of our Lord is found in Luke 2:22-38. This is the narrative in which Simeon and Anna proclaim Jesus as Lord. In his praise, Simeon refers to Jesus as the "light" to the Gentiles/nations. Hence this day's connection between light and candles. Traditionally all the candles to be used in the church during the year were blessed on Candlemas, i.e., the Candle Mass. In some churches vestiges of Christmas decorations remain until Candlemas.

Groundhogs Day's roots are in old pagan German mythology. These rituals were adapted to their new home in Pennsylvania, with the groundhog replacing the traditional badger or bear. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer the badger. I guess one could stretch to see some relation between candle light and the groundhog seeing his shadow.

Here in PA a groundhog named Gus is the mascot of the PA Lottery. He is called "the second most famous groundhog in PA." His catch phrase for instant lottery tickets is, "Keep scratchin." "The PA Lottery benefits older Pennsylvanians." Does that make it a good thing?

A legendary animal in PA is the squonk. The squonk is so ugly it weeps all day. If captured, it dissolves in its own tears. The squonk was made famous by Steely Dan in their song "Any Major Dude."

Social Media

2012-02-01T23:38:00.003-05:00

Up until now, I have not delved too deeply into the social media. However, I am finding Facebook, etc., a nice way to keep up with the activities of church members and colleagues. I have been surprised by friend connections between folks that I did not know knew each other, and all the many friend requests I have received. Friend me! I have also been surprised to see photos of myself on other people's walls. It's nice to be so loved! So, gentle readers, rest easy knowing I am watching over your status and reading the dear thoughts you post.

Burger King Communion

2012-01-30T23:21:00.007-05:00

Remember the old Burger King commercial jingle? Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce. Special orders don't upset us. All we ask is that you let us serve it your way. In seminary we used to joke about "Burger King Communions" where communicants could chose between wine (red or white), grape juice, or wine with the alcohol removed (yuk!); common cup, pouring chalice, pre-filled little cups, or intinction; wafers, bread, or gluten-free something-or-other; etc., etc. (Actually it should be a "Wendy's Communion;" with eight possible extra items on the original Wendy's burger -- ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, pickle, lettuce, onion, tomato, and cheese -- one could create 256 different burgers! But I digress.)

Recently on some of the Lutheran liturgical websites there have been reports of Communion anomalies. For instance, they include mixing the Communion elements with applesauce for elderly communicants who have trouble swallowing, and giving "goldfish" crackers to children at the altar rail who are too young to commune. All this is done under the guise of pastoral care.

A few things to consider:

Doesn't one receive all the benefits of the sacrament even if due to extreme circumstances the communicant can only receive one element?

Doesn't our faith receive all the benefits of the sacrament even if one cannot personally receive it due to some unusual circumstance?

At what age should children receive Holy Communion?

Isn't it better, as much as possible, to preserve the symbol of ONE cup and ONE loaf?

About 30% of Americans report having food allergies. Actually, only about 5% do.

In my parish experience, I had one member who insisted on eating the host despite her medically documented gluten allergy. I also had a recovering alcoholic who would take the cup and bring it to her lips but not drink, as her way of showing reverence to the presence of our Lord and to give thanks for her healing/sobriety. I am not saying this is for everyone, but it is something to think about.

Annual Meeting Review

2012-01-29T12:37:00.003-05:00

The 56th Annual Congregational Meeting of The Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, Monroeville, was held today. The meeting was productive and unusually concise. More than seventy people were present, a far cry from the 230 present and voting at the 2010 meeting, but well above the quorum necessary. The budget passed unanimously, and the slate of nominees for Congregation Council and Synod Assembly Lay Voting Members were elected unanimously as well. Other than for a single question about the budget, there was no other discussion on any issue, and all reports were approved by consensus. The fact that business was conducted so efficiently perhaps concealed all the hard work and careful preparation that went beforehand into crafting such a fine meeting. There seemed to be some expectancy among some people about a controversial issue arising, that never actually arose. One can only take from the irenic nature of the meeting and its speaking with one united voice, that healing has come to us and we are ready to once again proclaim gospel.

Revisionist History

2012-01-28T16:32:00.006-05:00

Read an article in "Seeds for the Parish" about how Queen Elizabeth I of England "sealed the the deal on the Reformation." If anyone asked me for an example of Revisionist History," that article would fit the bill quite nicely. Just to set the record straight on some of the points lightly touched on in the article:

Henry VIII (pictured above in tights and garter), who started the English Reformation, was no paragon of religious virtue. A slave to politics, his quest for an heir, and his own carnal lusts, he broke away from the Catholic Church to divorce Catherine of Aragon and marry Anne Boleyn. Of his six wives, he divorced two and beheaded two.

Elizabeth I persecuted Catholics, and had many tried for treason and executed. She even signed the execution order for her own Catholic cousin, Mary, Queen of Scots.

Sir Francis Drake was a pirate and slave trader.

Lenten Preview

2012-01-28T16:18:00.003-05:00

It is a reality of parish ministry that a pastor must always be thinking ahead of the liturgical calendar. All summer we think about Rally Day. In September our attention turns to Advent and Christmas. Before Christmas we start planning Lent and Easter.

For Lent this year we purchased the series "God's Gift of Forgiveness" from CPH (the Concordia Publishing house). The series includes Bible Studies we will use on Tuesday and Sundays; outlines for Ash Wednesday, mid-week, and Holy Week worship services; and sermon suggestions. We will also be using the companion Lenten devotional booklet. This was written by Pastor Todd A. Peperkorn, and it is excellent (I just finished reading it). The devotional weaves together the stories of Abraham's near sacrifice of Isaac, the Exodus, and Christ's Passion. It is rock solid Lutheran theology. We envision the Ash Wednesday and mid-week services being some what less complicated than previous ones, while remaining definitely liturgical (just a little less "smells and bells").

Still Funny

2012-01-24T20:49:00.004-05:00

This is the funniest joke I have heard since tomorrow:

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve faster than the speed of light neutrinos."

A faster than the speed of light neutrino walks into a bar.

Like Larry the Cable Guy says, "That's just funny, I don't care who you are."

Seuss picture

2012-01-23T15:47:00.003-05:00

Couldn't resist a picture from the new Lutheran Seuss Mass (seriously, see The Lutheran January 2012). That's the pastor in the green chasuble.

Would you worship with a fox?
Only if that fox was orthodox! (Thank, DR)

Poe Toaster

2012-01-20T21:56:00.003-05:00

The tradition of the Poe Toaster is now officially dead. For about 70 years an unknown costumed person left three roses and a half drank bottle on Cognac on Edgar Allen Poe's grave in Baltimore (above), at the Westminster Presbyterian Church, on Poe's birthday, January 19. For three consecutive years now, the Poe Toaster was a no-show. Perhaps I mentioned before that when I worked at the Baltimore Cancer Research Center, just a block or two from Poe's grave, Melanie and I would sometime purchase lunch at "World Famous" Lexington Market and literally eat lunch on Poe's grave. I am also reminded of snowy winter evenings playing chess and listening to classical music at the 19th century apartment of my friend W.M. near the Poe House on Amity Street. Good times, good times. "Nevermore!"

Health Tips

2012-01-19T21:49:00.005-05:00

Just read an article about Healthcare and the Church. With that in mind, and my tongue in my cheek, I offer these Health Tips from the Bible:

Don't travel long distances during pregnancy. If you must travel, be sure that there are hospitals with good Labor and Delivery units at your destination. You don't want to have your baby born in a barn, do you?

Parents should know their children's whereabouts at all times. If parents should lose track of a child 12 years-old or less, they are unfit and should be reported to Family Services.

Leprosy is contagious. Never touch a leper without gloves, gown, mask, etc.

Go only to approved health care providers. Beware of people who do things like put mud made from dirt and saliva on a blind man's eyes claiming it can cure.

Families must intervene when another family member is acting strangely, such as having messianic delusions.

Pork and shellfish can spoil easily causing food poisoning. Avoid them altogether.

Comment Policy

2012-01-19T06:08:00.006-05:00

It is time to review the Comment Policy here at The Sheep Dog's Spot. We welcome responsible comments, even differing opinions. High praise, flattery, etc., are particularly welcome. However, we do not welcome, and enjoy ignoring and deleting (and, yes, I have received all these):

advertisements (especially for prescription drugs and Viagra)

the paranoid rantings of schizophrenics

messages "outing" someone without their knowledge and consent

blasphemy

slander

comments in Russian, Arabic or Chinese (we will gladly accept French, German, Hebrew, or Greek, and, of course, American)

anything the Sheep Dog finds offensive.

Thank you for your cooperation. Keep those comments coming. I've got an itchy "do not publish" finger.

Suess Mass

2012-01-18T21:27:00.005-05:00

I understand that The Lutheran recently published a Seuss Mass celebrating Dr. Seuss (I thought we celebrated Christ at worship, but I guess I'm out of the mainstream these days). The Mass included gems like" "We pray for people here and there. We pray for people everywhere." Everything in the liturgy, and we're using that term loosely, was done in such rhyme. Congregations trying a Seuss Mass at home were encouraged to decorate the sanctuary with Dr. Seuss books, have children bring Dr. Seuss toys, and have adults wear Dr. Seuss hats. A green eggs and ham breakfast was also suggested. I am surprised that no one said to replace Christ on the crucifix with the Cat-in-the-Hat. It was suggested that readers practice their parts so that the readings would be reverent, not sing-song and silly. Yes, it really said that. You wouldn't want your Seuss Mass to appear juvenile and irreverent, would you? Maybe the Augsburg Confession was wrong; Lutherans really have abolished the mass.

I worship Christ, not Dr. Seuss.

But I'm a Lutheran, so what's the use?

MLK Day

2012-01-16T20:43:00.005-05:00

I am old enough to remember the day Martin Luther King, Jr., died: 4 April 1968. That date is immortalized in U2 song In the Name of Love. I also recall the rioting that followed his assassination. It was a scary time in Baltimore. There seemed something incongruous, even to an eight year old, about violence and looting in the name of a man who preached non-violence and peace. It also seems incongruous that today we celebrate the slain civil rights leader's birth with sales at department stores. "It is the characteristic of capitalism to tame rebels and make them consumer goods."

There is a new play starring Samuel L. Jackson (of Pulp Fiction fame) as Dr. King. That's kind of hard for me to picture. Samuel l. Jackson once held Martin Luther King, Sr., hostage (check that out on Wkiipedia). Of course, in this new play Dr. King curses, drinks alcohol, and smokes. Some people says it makes the saintly Dr. King more real to them.

I once heard an African national say that Americans look at Dr. King as a politician, but Africans read him as a theologian. As often happens to the deceased, many people claim that Dr. King would be on their side if he was alive today. For instance, many LGBT supporters claim the blessing of Dr. King while others, including several of his close family members, say he would never support such a position. People tend to forget that Dr. King was a Baptist Christian, with generally conservative biblical and social views. Equal civil rights for all races is a Christian and conservative ideal.

Fracas: The Word

2012-01-15T18:31:00.006-05:00

How does a irenic, conciliatory guy like me get into so many fracases, especially over at Living Lutheran? The latest is over the Bible. How can we disagree about God's Word! Well, let me tell you:

Many people subscribe to the popular, but inaccurate, idea that the Church created the New Testament (NT) in the 4th century. They believe, as I was once misled to believe, that there were dozens, maybe hundreds, of Christan writings being used by the church prior to that time and that the Church finally (and arbitrarily) on its own authority said what was and what was not included in the canon of the NT circa 325 A.D. No so! In fact, even a cursory survey of the writings of the Ante-Nicene Fathers shows that all the catholic Christian churches in the first three centuries used more or less the same 27 books, i.e., those that were eventually canonized, with only minor and insignificant exceptions. The plethora of gnostic writings (such as the supposed Gospel of Judas) that receive an inordinate amount of attention today, were never widely used by the early mainstream Christian Churches. The Church did not define the canon for about its first 3o0 years because it did not need to. Led by the Holy Spirit, Christians already knew what was authoritative and apostolic, and what was not. It was not until Marcion, a gnostic, tried to force his canon on the Church that the Church found it necessary to set and close the NT canon. Many people today want to teach, "The Bible did not form the church; the church formed the Bible," but, like all revisionist theology, that comes with a not-so-hidden "hidden agenda." The scheme is to take away the objective authority of scripture and invest power instead in the subjective gatherings of Christians. Their thinking seems to be, "If 51% of Christians in a given assembly vote for it; it must be the Word of God." Hence, what the Bible means in California it might not mean in Bangkok. What it meant to Luther it might not mean to you, and probably won't mean to your grandchildren. Hardly sees like the Word of a God who is unchanged and unchanging!

Magic

2012-01-14T21:55:00.005-05:00

Grocery shopping today, someone in a Denver Bronco's sweatsuit stopped me and asked me to bless the Broncos in their game against the Patriots. (I was wearing a clerical collar, having just come from a hospital visit; he called me "Father.") He went on to explain that Tim Tebow is a good Christian man and that, for the Pats, "pride comes before a fall." I said I would bless the Broncos. At halftime, they are tailing 35-7. So much for my blessing!

What many people want is magic, not faith. Magic is using spiritual means for a physical end. If I could do magic, I'd pick a few winning lottery numbers (giving all my winnings to the church, of course). Work is using physical means for a physical end. That "works" in the world as we know it. Using physical means for a spiritual end might be called service or ascetics. Religion, or faith, is using spiritual means for a spiritual end. What do you want, magic or faith? Are you hoping for a jackpot, or waiting on salvation?

What Am I Reading?

2012-01-13T16:48:00.003-05:00

I'm reading two great books, and one very good one.

Christ's Church by Bo Giertz, erstwhile Bishop of the Church of Sweden. This was translated by Pastor Hans Andrea, a native of Sweden who now lives in SW PA. Although written in 1939, it rings true today. TGSLC members will be hearing a lot of this in my preaching. Giertz covers the nature of the church, the Word, the sacraments, etc., in a traditional, orthodox way.

Meditations on Divine Mercy by John Gerhart, translated by Pastor Matthew Harrison. Although written in 16th century, it rings true today. TGSLC members will be seeing a lot of this in our Lenten worship. These are prayers drawn from Holy Scripture. Gerhart is considered the third great theologian of the German Reformation, behind Martin Luther and Martin Chemnitz.

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs, a current Christian best seller. Someone I never met, from California, sent me a copy of this book after reading my Lutheran Forum article. It's about marriage and it rings true both with the Bible and my experience. TSCLC people preparing for marriage will hear a lot about this in wedding planning sessions.

Controversy! Not Me!

2012-01-11T05:40:00.004-05:00

Within hours of the Steelers loss to the Denver Tebows, injured Steeler center M. Pouncey set off a controversy with a series of tweets that seemed to suggest the game didn't mean that much to him, at least not as much the money he makes. Within days of being admonished by Tim's Broncos, superstar strong safety Troy Polamalu, who may be even more spiritual than Tebow, set off a controversy with a tweet suggesting that he is against drilling for gas in SW PA.

That, gentle readers, is why I stay with the old fashioned blog, rather than go with that new fangled Twitter technology. I am sure you also appreciate the restraint I exercise in expressing my opinions and the prudence I show in not speaking out on topics that could be upsetting to others. I live by the rule: never discuss politics or religion. Would that others had such decorum!

I Was Wrong

2012-01-10T05:43:00.003-05:00

Twenty-some years ago I attended a youth event. The band there sang this song:

He's my rock, my sword, my shield;

He's my wheel in the middle of the wheel;

He's my Lily of the Valley, my bright and morning star.

Makes no difference what you say,

I'm gonna get on my knees and pray,

and praise Him every day 'til Jesus comes.

I remember assuring my youth group that no one would try to stop them from praying. I was wrong. So very wrong.

Tim Tebow is one of the most reviled people in pro sports, maybe in the world in general. His crime? Praying in public! Other sports figures have been guilty of abusing drugs, playing with loaded weapons, sexual assults -- even dog fighting, No seems to mind those things very much. But pray in public! That's unforgivable. Oh, yes, and Tebow is outspoken about being Pro-Life. The guy's just asking to be hated, isn't he?

I think what upsets people most is that he is so genuine and sincere. The world can tolerate hypocrites because we're all hypocritical, but a universe of fakers cannot tolerate authenticity. Sure, someday Tebow will stumble and say a bad word or give in to some temptation of the flesh -- and the unkind world will pounce on him mercilessly. That will be a pity. I respect what the guy is trying to do. Godspeed, Tim.

ELCA Seminaries in Crisis

2012-01-07T20:55:00.005-05:00

Tuition only covers about one-quarter of what it actually costs to educate an ELCA seminary student. The rest comes from synods, interest on endowments, individual donors, etc. Still, many seminarians graduate with tens of thousands of dollars in educational debt.

When the ELCA was formed, the churchwide unit took over the seminaries. The plan was that eventually the ELCA would fund 50% or more of the seminaries' budgets. That never happened. ELCA support makes up only a small percentage of any seminary's annual income.

There has long been talk as to whether this church, with only 4.2 million members and 10,000 congregations, needs seven seminaries. For instance, the LCMS, at about half the size of the ELCA, does quite well with just two seminaries. The ethnic, geographical, and theological differences that lead to the formation of so many ELCA seminaries often no longer apply. For example, does Pennsylvania really need two ELCA seminaries? And, it has been well known for quite some time, that several ELCA seminaries are in major financial trouble.

This became apparent recently when The Lutheran School of Theology in Chicago, home of our ELCA headquarters, announced major cutbacks in staff and programing. Many fear this is just the beginning of the end. As the ELCA continues to lose congregations, and their financial receipts, seminaries will suffer even more financially. What seminary will be next to ax faculty, staff, and programing in light of the cold, hard financial realities?

Luther, perhaps the most orthodox of the seminaries, along with Southern. are well endowed. Philadelphia, which has found a niche as a graduate school of theology for non-Lutherans in the City of Brotherly Love, is strong financially as well. Gettysburg (above) and Wartburg, not so much.

Back to the Epiphany

2012-01-07T15:41:00.007-05:00

Friday, January 6 was the Epiphany. It is the commemoration of the Magi visiting the Christ child. The universal significance of the event is that they were the first gentile worshippers of Jesus. What happened to the Magi after they went home is unknown.

I read a post by a Lutheran pastor who said that the great part of the story is that the Magi, after seeing Christ, were not forced to change their religion. They went home and continued practicing whatever pagan religions they had before following the star. Wait... what?

Can anyone worship Christ and then turn back to worship an idol? That's apostasy. Can anyone worship Jesus as Lord and also someone/something else as Lord at the same time? That's syncretism? After finding Christ, even as a baby in a manger, they would have to have been profoundly changed. He is, after all, the Incarnate God. Their gifts to him showed that they recognized his deity. Maybe the Magi went back to their homes and proclaimed Christ -- and were martyred for it . We don't know if that's what happened, but that seems more likely than them going back to worshipping stars or statues.

The LORD tells us that he is a jealous God and that we should have no other gods before [or after] him. Jesus is the way and the truth and the life; no one come to the Father but by him. We do the world a disservice by teaching then that it is acceptable to worship something other than the Triune God or something in addition to the Almighty. What in Christ's name are we teaching today?

On the Tenth Day of Christmas

2012-01-03T09:28:00.005-05:00

Read a posting from a Lutheran pastor who wants to change the church's liturgical calendar. He points out that Advent and Epiphany don't mean much to most people these days, even people who belong to churches that observe them, and that in reality Christmas begins with Thanksgiving and ends with New Years. I'd agree that those observations are accurate for the United States today. He suggests adapting the church year to actually fit the cultural practice, e.g., no more talk about the Twelve Days of Christmas, etc. That is where he and I part company. Morality always follows liturgy, and adapting worship to culture always leads to adapting our lifestyle to culture. And that always leads to trouble. What is normative for 21st century Americans is not normative, nor should it be, for the universal church. You just can't unilaterally overturn Christian tradition to appease one generation in one little corner of the world. Isn't the Christian church counter-cultural? Don't our liturgical traditions teach about Christ? Shouldn't it be our mission to teach and proclaim rather than to sell out?

I'm sure you've all seen the supposed explanations for the images of the 12 Days of Christmas. I'm sure you have also read the reasons why they are probably not true. The song is kind of annoying, although there are many good parodies of it. I like the explanations whether they are authentic or not.

I'm having trouble settling on a daily devotional book for 2012. I could always go back to ALPB's For All The Saints. I'm also looking at Extreme Devotion from The Voice of the Martyrs. And I've ordered a daily devotional by Bo Giertz. Plus, there's Christ in Our Home on my shelf. So many good choices. Maybe this year I'll be better at sticking to my STS vows and praying the Daily Offices.

New Years Day Part Deux

2012-01-02T22:24:00.006-05:00

With January 1 being a Sunday, many people, but not everyone, celebrated today, Monday, January 2, as New Years Day. I saw many people at the Miracle Mile Shopping Center (which is neither a mile long nor has a miracle ever occurred there) try to go into the PNC Bank only to find, much to their surprise, that the doors were locked. At least the Starbucks was open, Thank Goodness.

When I moved to Pittsburgh, out-of-town friends, i.e., non-Pittsburghers, told me they read that the Pittsburgh Pretzel was a regional New Years tradition supposedly bringing good luck. All these years I never saw a New Year Pretzel -- until today. Shop 'N Save was selling them (isn't the department store in The Simpsons called Try 'N Save?). The Pretzels looked more like cakes in the shape of a pretzel, all iced "an' at." I passed.

My post last New Years about traditional New Years dinners is one on my most viewed posts ever. My family and I went very un-traditional this year: General Tso's chicken (homemade, not carry out) on January 1 and roast beef on January 2, both with steamed rice. I hope General Tso himself feels some measure of redemption that the battlefield taunt about cowardice he endured for being a cautious military commander ("General Tso's chicken!") has become the name of a popular American dish.

LA Fitness was packed as many people are trying to keep their New Years resolutions to lose weight/get in shape. Last year the up tick in LA Fitness traffic lasted until about mid-January. And isn't that the depressing part of New Years? All the "Peace on earth, goodwill to men" of Christmas has already started to fade by January 2 and it's back to dog-eat-dog business as usual. It's up to us Christians to keep up the Christmas spirit everyday of the year.

Much is being made of the Ancient Mayan Calendar that supposedly predicts the end of the world on December 21, 2012. How ancient Mayans where able to use the European names of months with a system of years based on the birth of Christ in their predictions I'll never know! Will this be the end of the earth only, or will it be a cosmos-wide event (after all different planets have different lengths of years)? You may want to wait to Christmas shop in 2012 until December 22, just in case. But I don't think I'll be moving Christmas services up a week. What a shame the world is supposed end six weeks AFTER the election!

I prefer the European way of writing dates, e.g., 2 January 2012, because it just makes more sense and saves a comma. But I guess that has as much chance of catching on in the US as the metric system. Would we call the lawn in front of our homes the "front meter?" Would we say something moving slowly "2.56 centimeter-ed along?" Would short people be called "quarter-liter?" Would the cake now be called a ".4 kilogram cake?" Would the Miracle Mile become "the Miracle .6 Kilometer?"

New Years News

2012-01-01T22:07:00.006-05:00

A man in NC was arrested for trying to pass a $1 million dollar bill at a Walmart. The largest US bill in circulation today is the $100 Ben Franklin. Reminds me of the joke about the counterfeiters who accidentally printed $18 dollar bills. They went to the hills of WV to pass them off on the locals. "Hey, you got change for an $18 dollar bill?" "Sure; you want three sixes or two nines?" Or is that three nines and two sixes? I did read something, I think it was intended to be funny but it has serious potential, about the US government selling advertising on dollars bills. In the future we might have McDollars or Walbucks.

Spent a quiet New Years Eve. Watched a good bit of the Coldplay concert on TV. Went to CNN and ABC as it got closer to midnight. New Year's Rockin' Eve is always my sentimental favorite because I watched the very first one forty years ago. However, I am not fond of Ryan Seachrist, Jenny McCarthy, and Lady Gaga on NYRE. And Kathy Griffen, paired with Anderson Cooper, on CNN may have been even worse. At one point Kathy advocated "one night stands" as long as you are "safe." Why should I watch people whose moral values and political/cultural/social/religious opinions are so out of line with mine? Extra points: 1. Dick Clark has a painting of himself in his attic that looks very old and is aging. 2. In Dillsburg, PA, they drop a giant lighted pickle at midnight. No kidding.

One day into 2012 and the Pittsburgh area already has two murders. Where am I? Back in Baltimore?

Did you see the fight between the Greek Orthodox and Armenian Apostolic Church monks in the Church of the nativity in Bethlehem? The church, built over the spot where some believe Christ was born, is administered (read: divided) between those two churches and the Roman Catholics. Seems that tensions flair up between the monks assigned there each year during the clean-up between Dec. 25 (Western Christmas) and Jan. 6 (Eastern Christmas) . The encroachment on each others territory this year led to fisticuffs and monks swinging brooms at each other. The Palestinian police restored order (how embarrassing is that!).

I'll probably want to comment more on this later but I read several articles lately saying that girls babies should not be dressed in pink nor boys in blue, all toys should be uni-sex, etc. -- basically saying that gender is a choice, regardless of whatever our biology and chromosomes may say, and that parents/society should not influence that choice. (Never mind that Genesis and Jesus said that God created us male and female.)

Looking at my stats, I see very few people are reading my blog over the holidays. Where else are you going to find wisdom like this?

Christmas Silliness

2011-12-28T19:45:00.005-05:00

Some awful strange things happen at churches at Christmas. We already mentioned churches that canceled services on Dec. 25 this year because it was a Sunday. I read about a pastor who encouraged people to come to church on Christmas Day in their pajamas -- the pastor himself was going to -- because the pastor understood that people don't want to get up and go to church on Christmas morning. Wait... what? The gimmicks go on and on. A few years ago a church I know had a visit from a red-suited Santa Claus at its Christmas Eve service. I know another church that replaces their usual liturgy on Christmas Eve with a blues concert (the membership is more the polka type).

The strangest story of all came to me from a friend who was traveling one Christmas and went to a (mainline Protestant but not Lutheran) church in a small town. The details are sketchy because even the person who relayed the story to me wasn't sure exactly what went down. It appears that the church sanctuary was open on Christmas Eve for several hours. People could come and go from the church at will. "Worshippers" could sit in the pews for as long or as little as they liked to pray, meditate, or count the ceiling tiles, while the organist played Christmas carols softly. There was no singing, no sermon, no spoken prayers or such. If/when someone so desired, they could go to the altar rail where the pastor would meet them with Communion elements. Here is where my friend got especially confused. The pastor held before her a plate with a full loaf of bread on it. He said, "Take the bread." My friend, a Lutheran, tried to break a piece off the loaf. The pastor pulled the plate back and sternly said again, "Take the bread," as he pushed the plate back toward her. My friend tried to take the plate from him, and again he withdrew it. What developed was a tug-of-war between her and the pastor, with the pastor repeatedly saying, "Take the bread," but not offering any other instructions. My friend attempted to comply every way she thought possible, but trying hard not to break the "reverent" quiet by asking questions, and feeling quite awkward, she finally gave up and left.

Part of the beauty of the Western Rite and the Great Tradition is that you know what you are going to get when you walk into a church.

Christmas Review

2011-12-27T21:30:00.005-05:00

It was a glorious Christmas Eve at The Good Shepherd. As I always say, it's not about the numbers, but 210 people worshipped at 7:30 p.m. and another 150 at 10:00, making it, with a total of 360, in most people's estimation, well attended (and perhaps better attended than in recent years). The crowd of 210 at 7:30 gave a certain atmosphere of excitement to the service without it being uncomfortably crammed-packed. There were a good number of children present, all the "quiet bags" got used, and a good number of normally home bound folks had friends and relatives bring them to church. One beautiful moment was when we ran out of "handicapped seating" (we had a least seven people with walkers and/or wheelchairs) and a man in a wheelchair was lifted, wheelchair and all, and carried to the upper nave by his son and two grandsons. Reminded me of the man let through the roof for Jesus to heal.

The music was excellent. Twenty minutes of Prelude music preceded the services from our bell and vocal choirs, Andrew Imblum, our trumpeter, and Mr. Matthew Walley, soloist, singing "O Holy Night." We heard many compliments about the playing and directing of Mary K. Walley, and how all around wonderful she is to work with and know. All the great music added to the liturgy, making it feel truly like worship, rather than making it feel like a concert with a sermon and Communion added in, as some Christmas services do. Between the usual places for hymns, Communion distribution hymns, and replacing usual liturgical pieces with carols, we sang about a dozen Christmas carols at each service.

I like to thank everyone who volunteers to make our Christmas Eve celebrations so special, but I especially want to thank our parish secretary, Bernadine, who typeset and printed, and the volunteer couple, Stan and Kathy, who folded, those 400 Christmas Eve bulletins. Special thanks should also go to Adrienne McCurry, Altar Guild Coordinator, and all the people who helped decorate.

Christmas Day the attendance was much smaller, only 31 souls, but it made for an intimate celebration of our Lord's Nativity. And almost all of those present were people who worshipped the night before. At the Christmas Day service we got to sing the (very few) familiar Christmas carols and hymns that we didn't sing on Christmas Eve, including "Of the Father's Love Begotten," the favorite of two very dear TGSLC members who are sisters and who were present both Christmas Eve and Day.

Yes, by noon Christmas Day I was happily exhausted.

Christmas Blessing

2011-12-25T21:57:00.003-05:00

Late Friday afternoon I discovered a huge box overflowing with brand new toys at our church's front door. Apparently some anonymous donor left them there for us to distribute to needy children. There were hockey sticks and hula hoops, and board games and baby dolls, and more. One would think giving away toys just a day or two before Christmas would be easy, but it was not. I called many churches, hospitals, and shelters on Dec. 23 and 24, and all I got were answering machines or explanations that their gift giving programs were already completed. Finally, late on Christmas Eve, I made a connection with a friend of a friend who took the toys to an urban church for a Christmas Day give away. Mission accomplished! Thank you, Anonymous Donor.

Christmas Eve Eve

2011-12-23T22:19:00.004-05:00

Read an article saying that 10% of Protestant churches are canceling their Sunday worship services this December 25 because Christmas Day is on a Sunday. People want to be with family rather than in church. In a recent survey, 67% of Americans said that many of their Christmas traditions have nothing to do with the birth of Jesus. Wait... what?

TGSLC will have one service at 9:00 a.m. Christmas Day, If Christmas falls one a weekday, we usually don't have services, however. A few years ago a new member showed up for worship on at TGSLC on Christmas Day, a weekday, and, finding no service at TGSLC, drove to every Protestant church in Monroeville. None had Christmas Day services. He should have went to Export. A pastor friend of mine there tells me that one of his members, finding no Christmas Day service, left a note on the church door, "This Church Closed in Honor of Jesus' Birth." Ouch! They have had Christmas Day services ever since.

Bittersweet Christmas Memory (the Ghost of Christmas Past): Visiting one of our home bound members years ago near Christmas, I asked what her favorite Christmas carols was. She said "Silent Night" and she said how much she missed singing it. So she and I, just the two of us, right there in her living room, sang "Silent Night." It was her last Christmas on earth; she celebrates Christmas in heaven now

What Are You Doing Christmas Eve?

2011-12-22T18:54:00.004-05:00

The Good Shepherd Lutheran Church of Monroeville will have services of Candlelight Holy Communion, at 7:30 and 10:00 p.m., on Christmas Eve, December 24. Prelude music begins twenty minutes before each service. Come early to get a good seat and enjoy the beautiful music which will include the Joyful Noise Hand Bell Choir, trumpet by Andrew Imblum, organ, piano, the Chancel choir, and a vocal solo of "O Holy Night" by Mr Walley. Many traditional favorite Christmas carols and hymns will be sung. Everyone is welcome.

Holy Communion on Christmas Day, December 25 will be at 9:00 a.m. The church office will be closed on December 26. On January 1, the Festival of the Name of Jesus (New Year's Day) worship will also be at 9:00 a.m. There will be no Sunday School on Dec. 25 and Jan. 1. Our Tuesday Morning Bible Study resumes on January 10 at 9:30 a.m.

Joyeux Noel

2011-12-21T20:15:00.004-05:00

Hanukkah began last night. Today is the winter solstice. But the most joyous event of the season was The Good Shepherd's Lutheran Church's "Ad Hoc A Capella Christmas Carol Choir" singing at Independence Court in Monroeville this evening. About 15 Good Shepherd members showed up to sing carols for and with our five members who reside there and several of their friends. There were cookies to share and lots of conversation. A wonderful time was had by all. It was the happiest church event we have had in a long time -- rivaled only by last Sunday's Sunday School Children's Advent and Christmas Pageant. Everyone agreed it was the best ever. EVAR! Thank you each and everyone.

Speaking of Hanukkah, I haven't heard Adam Sandler's Hanukkah song even once this year. However, the rabbi gave out dreidels at the December Interfaith Ministerium meeting. I insisted that we sing the "Dreidel Song" and we gave a rousing rendition. That proves you can be a Confessional Lutheran and a fun guy! (Or as the mushroom said to the mold, "You're a real fungi!")

Poverty

2011-12-20T00:32:00.005-05:00

That's the band The Povertyneck Hillbillies above. I don't really know their music, but I like the name.

What is poverty? The Occupy Wall Street movement, and Christmas approaching, turn our thoughts toward the poor. It seems to me that there are at least two ways to look at poverty.

One is to assume that wealth is more or less distributed on a bell curve. Those at the lower end of the curve would be considered impoverished. In a culture where nearly everyone has $100 athletic shoes, those who only can afford $50 athletic shoes would be considered poor. In other words, poverty is relative and culturally specific. What might be considered poor in one time and place, would not be considered so in another. For instance, the poorest among us today have possessions that would have been thought of as luxuries 100 years ago, or in developing nations today, such as refrigeration and indoor plumbing.

The other way to look at poverty is to say that there are certain basic necessities everyone needs to survive (food, clothing, shelter, etc.) and those who lack these are the poor. Even if everyone else is wearing Nikes and you only have Keds, you are not poor. Ever hear, "I was sad because I had no shoes until I saw a man with no feet?"

Now, consider this: A man calls the church. He asks for department store gift cards to buy Christmas presents for his children. On the church's answering machine, he leaves his cell phone number and says he would be willing to drive to the church to pick them up. He is offered food on the return call, but he says he has enough food and can pay his rent, but lacks the money to buy his children the expensive toys and clothes they want for Christmas. Is someone with a car and cell phone poor? Are designer Christmas presents a necessity?

Undoubtedly there is a huge disparity between the rich and the poor in our country today. Is that immoral in and of itself, or are those less fortunate merely coveting? Often corporations are disparaged for the profits they make. Aren't athletes and entertainers also often overpaid for what they do (think U2, Angelina Jolie, and Sean Penn) , and yet some of them pander to the OWS crowd. John Lennon sang, "Imagine no possessions," yet he had many, many possessions. For many of us, our pensions, etc., are tied to the stock market. Do we see ourselves as the oppressors? And are we responsible to bail out people who make bad decisions? As someone said, "No one forced anyone to borrow $100,000 to major in gender studies." When I heard about the OWS group in Pittsburgh singing "Give Us Your Money" to the tune of "Deck the Halls" it changed my tune. Do we really want to punish those who work hard and succeed, and reward those who do not? So often it seems to me the independently wealthy are quick to chide the middle class for being un-generous, when they are doing less than their fair share and themselves are insulated from economic collapse.

Bottom Line: I support alms giving out of faith and love; I don't think charity can be legislated.

No Apologies

2011-12-18T18:58:00.005-05:00

In my stack of mail this morning was a letter with the ELCA logo in the return address area. On the front of the envelope it said, "I would like to apologize." "Well, it's about time!" I thought, although the letter seemed much too small and light to carry all of the apologies I thought it should contain.

Once opened, I discovered the letter came for the ELCA Fund for Leaders. It seems that they had sent a previous mailing (I don't recall seeing it) that contained an error. They said the letter, soliciting donations, would be resent. They also went to great lengths to assure me that my personal identification information had.not been compromised. That tells me it is very likely than my or someone else's' personal identify information has been compromised.

Let's think about that for a minute: Someone sends you a letter you didn't ask to receive, and in the process gives away critical information that could cost you money and all sorts of other trouble. And, of yeah, they were asking you for money. And, oh yeah, the letter apologizing for their mistake asks you for money too. I am not running for my checkbook.

Off topic: I received a LOL email from a friend the other day who told the true story about a church meeting with a synodical bishop to discuss their congregation's future. After the bishop's presentation, the first comment made by a parishioner to the bishop during the Q&A was, "You are the Devil!" It may strike us as strange to think of one who is supposed to serve in personna Christi to actually be imagio diablo, but Jesus says that the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat and it was the chief priest who plotted Christ's death.

Handicapping the Election

2011-12-17T20:42:00.013-05:00

The election of a new Presiding Bishop for the ELCA is more than 18 months away. However, much like U.S. presidential politics, the campaigning begins well in advance of the actual election. Assuming Bishop Hanson (above) will not seek an unprecedented third term in 2013, who will succeed him? It seems like a daunting task, with the ELCA having lost about 600 congregations and more than a half-million members in the past ten years. Still, there are ample candidates for the job.

Thus far, all ELCA Presiding Bishops have been male, white, had ties to the Mid-west, and have had Scandinavian surnames (Chilstrom, Anderson, Hanson). It is often doubted that a person of German descent or an East Coast person could ever be an ELCA Presiding Bishop, although the venerable Donald McCoid came close. Usually there are a few female, "people of color," Anglo-Saxon or Hispanic surnamed challengers, but so far none have been selected by the voting members (or is that the Holy Spirit?). The top two challengers to Hanson's first election in 2001 (McCoid and James Nestingen) are/will be retired before August 2013 and cannot be considered serious candidates. Who are the favorites and what are their chances? (Hint: There is not a conservative confessionalist or traditionalist in the bunch.) My guesses:

Stephen Bouman (25%)- current ELCA Director for Evangelical Mission and former Bishop of the Metro New York Synod. Appears to be the heir apparent and is being groomed to be the next Presiding Bishop.

Peter Rogness (20%) - Current St. Paul Area Synod Bishop and former Milwaukee Area Bishop . The Rogness family is Lutheran royalty, kind of like the Kennedy's in American politics.

Robert Rimbo (20%) - Current Metro New York and former Southeastern Michigan Bishop. Also a former The Lutheran columnist. Well known and ambitious.

Peter Marty (15%) - Son of Martin Marty, the most famous Lutheran of our era, and well known himself as a speaker, author, and pastor of a really big church. His father could have been Presiding Bishop if he wanted it; will the son fulfill the legacy of the father?

Andrea DeGroot-Nesdahl (10%)- Former South Dakota Bishop and current ELCA Malaria Campaign point-person. One of the first woman Bishops in the ELCA. Raised her stock significantly with her malaria presentation at CWA 2011. Is the ELCA ready for a woman Presiding Bishop?

Wyvetta Bullock (5%) - Current ELCA Executive for Administration and former co-host of Mosaic. Is the ELCA ready for a woman and African-American Presiding Bishop?

Anita Hill (4%) - Associate Pastor of Reformation Lutheran Church in St. Paul, MN, and the driving force behind the ELCA's sexuality social statement. The ELCA's best known Lesbian. Is the ELCA ready for a woman and homosexual Presiding Bishop?

Michael Rhinehart(1%) - Bishop of the Southeastern Texas and Louisiana Synod. Frequent contributor to Living Lutheran and other media. Carving out a niche for himself as a supporter of liberal social causes

In church politics, as in national politics, 18 months is an eternity and the field could change drastically bewtween now and CWA 2013

Bad

2011-12-17T13:27:00.004-05:00

Bad Weather/Humor: It's a wintry mix of rain, sleet, and snow here in Monroeville today. Reminds me of the awesome Reliant K Christmas album, Let It Snow, Baby... Let It Reindeer." Along those lines there is an old joke about a Communist Party member named Rudolph Samanov arguing with his wife about whether it's raining or sleeting. Finally he says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Bad Elevators: Twice yesterday, in two separate buildings, I had to go to the fifth floor or above and of the two elevators in the building, one was out of service, making for cramped conditions and unhappy passengers. Did you know that elevator travel is the safest form of travel in the world with less fatalities per passenger miles than cars, airplanes, boats, etc.? Someday I'll do a post on elevator etiquette.

Bad Name: I was at Allegheny General Hospital yesterday, which is on Sandusky Street. Several things in and around the hospital are named Sandusky. I'm sure it's not THAT Sandusky, but how can anyone now hear that name and think of anything else? A few years ago, Sandusky, Ohio, was the geographic center of the ELCA, i.e., half of all Lutherans lived North/South and East/West of that town. I bet the geographic center would be farther west and south today. A Californian once said to me that when you fly across the Rockies, the white you see on the mountaintops isn't snow, it's the discarded membership letters of Lutherans moving from the Mid-west to the Southwest. However, although the percentage of population that is Lutheran is higher in the Mid-west and Northeast, by sheer raw numbers there are more Lutherans in the Sun Belt states these days.

Christmas Miracles

2011-12-15T23:03:00.005-05:00

Several years ago, friend gave us a handcrafted Christmas outdoor artwork lit by a solar light. The solar light hasn't worked in years but I put it out on our front porch every year anyway. Suddenly this year, the solar light is working again. It's a Christmas Miracle.

My son need about 70% to pass his Commonwealth Social Worker licensing exam, and he got about 90%. We are so proud. Another Christmas Miracle.

I've always been partial to real Christmas trees. Several year we bought a big artificial one and used it a few times. Then we went back to real trees and stored the fake one in the basement. A year or two ago we got a smaller artificial tree, and I finally put the old one out at the curb with a sign. "Xmas Tree Free to Good Home." Within minutes it disappeared. Christmas Miracle? You betcha. An hour or so later it reappeared at our curb. Miracle? Yes, the Christmas variety. Within a couple hours it disappeared again never to return. A true Christmas Miracle!

Santa Lucia

2011-12-14T06:37:00.005-05:00

Santa Lucia Day (Dec. 13) passed quietly. Personally I was too engrossed in a 2-day long pastoral emergency this year to pay it much notice. The first parish I served, an old Augustana Lutheran Church Mission, had a significant Swedish membership. Advent/Christmas meant lutefisk, lefse, pickled herring, and best of all, glug.

For years I goaded my daughter to play Santa Lucia. One year she relented. Traditionally the eldest daughter rises before dawn to wake her family with a breakfast of coffee and cardamon buns while she wears a white gown and crown of candles on her head. It was cinnamon rolls and coffee, with candles lit on the table for us, but I loved it.

I also love the artistic renderings of Santa Lucia carrying her eyes in a bowl (see above). Best Christian art work since St. John's head on a platter.

A person I visit in a nursing home is first-generation Swedish American. She has a Christmas tree with little Swedish flags on it. Cool! When I was in Ireland two New Years' Eves ago, a man in a pub brought us little pastries with Finnish flags on them. He explained that it was his birthday and this was Finnish tradition. Trying to be friendly, I mistakenly said, "Hurray, Norge," meaning "Hurray, Norway!" Un-cool. I corrected myself and said, "Hurray, Suomi!" ("Hurray, Finland!) but it was too little too late, although an international incident was avoided. A little knowledge, especially in foreign languages, is a dangerous things. Once I ordered in a restaurant in Germany and wound up with five entrees for four people. The waiter was Turkish, and his English was better than my Turkish. However, neither of us was very good at German.

Advent Nitpicking to the Max

2011-12-12T12:18:00.006-05:00

Many times in these pixels I have professed my profound admiration for Max Lucado. Recently I enjoyed reading his Christmas Stories. As I opined in my congregation's December newsletter, Max is not a Lutheran and therefore lacks a sacramental perspective. His Christmas book also shows a lack of liturgical perspective. That doesn't invalidate his biblical/spiritual insights, but as someone who was once considered a member of the Liturgical Gestapo, I cannot help but notice. To wit:

One of the stories is set in Advent. It names December 4 as the First Sunday in Advent. That's impossible! The First Sunday in Advent is the Sunday closest to St. Andrew's Day, November 30. Hence, it can be from Nov. 27 - Dec. 3. In fact, this year, Dec. 4 was the Second Sunday of Advent. Check the facts, Max.

Another story is set in a Lutheran Church in Texas. He mentions the church's auditorium. Now, Lutherans in Texas may be different (it really is the the ELCA down there, i.e., Everything Goes Lutheran Church in America), but Lutheran church's have naves (and some have knaves) or even sanctuaries (and some grant sanctuary) but Lutherans do not have auditoriums -- that's for independent mega-churches. The same story mentions having baby Jesus in the creche (manger scene) before Christmas Eve. Many churches, sadly including many Lutherans, put baby Jesus in the trough before he is born, but I can't believe that staunch community of the sons of German immigrants would make that mistake -- that's the kind of thing Norwegians do.

Recently on the Lutheran CORE Facebook page (you have to be a CORE member to be a friend -- Sorry, Charlie!) the question was asked, "What's your favorite Advent hymn?" It is interesting how some hymns, such as "Lo How a Rose" and "Joy to the World" get put in the Advent section of some hymnals and the Christmas section of others. My favorite Advent hymn, "Wake, Awake," got moved out of the Advent/Christmas section altogether in Evangelical Lutheran Worship. But then again, I'm not sure that the ELW is Evangelical or Lutheran or Worship.

Friday Funnies (and not so funny)

2011-12-09T17:27:00.006-05:00

From the Internet, The Week, and various sources:

Snowy, a mutant white reindeer (not an albino), is delighting children in London. She is the only one of her kind known.

In Tanzania it is popularly believed that human albinos have supernatural powers. This has led to some albinos being killed and their body parts being used (including cannibalism) in witchcraft rituals. The synod I used to belong to has a sister synod in Tanzania.

A second grade teacher in New York got into trouble when she told her class that "Santa Claus is a fictional character." She had asked them to identify the North Pole and received the answer "That's where Santa Claus lives."

Another teacher got in trouble for substituting "bright" for the word "gay" in the Christmas carol Deck the Halls. The children kept laughing when singing "don we now our gay apparel."

A pastor quipped, "It takes less faith to believe that a Communion wafer is really Jesus than to believe it's really bread."

The enviro-friendly Chevy Volt is being recalled because it is suspect of having a battery problem that may set the car on fire.

More guns than ever were sold on the most recent Black Friday.

Your Steelers Reoprt

2011-12-09T06:45:00.005-05:00

Haven't blogged much about the Steelers this season, but last night's game was blog-worthy. The legendary Terry Bradshaw supposedly once got off a stretcher and came back to win a game. That's why he's legendary. A physician was quoted as saying, "I took courses in medicine; I never took courses in Bradshaw." I had a high school teacher who went to college with Bradshaw and he said that Terry was "Li'l Abner in football spikes." (Anyone remember the comic strip Li'l Abner?")

Last night Ben Roethlisberger appeared to suffer what was a game ending, maybe a season ending, ankle injury. Somehow he came back and won the game. He didn't play great, and his offensive teammates didn't always help, but he/they got the job done. That's what they do. At 10-3 the Steelers are just about assured a playoff spot, albeit probably a wild card since their fate is in the Ravens' hands (claws?), who beat them twice.

The NFL rule is now that when a player is injured, the clock stops while the trainers work on him and he is carted off the field. If the player misses the next play, his team is not charged a time out. Years ago (the 1950s) teams had to take a time out to get an injured player off the field. To save a precious time out, coaches would have an "ambulance squad" ready on the sidelines. These were fast but strong guys who would run on to the field and lift or drag a fallen teammate off the field. Neck support, protruding broken bones, etc., were not a concern. It's a wonder no one died.

Got to question Coach Tomlin's decision to go for on it on fourth and goal inside the two late in the game with a 7-3 lead. Mendenhall had been stuffed three times and was stuffed a fourth. If the Brown's were not as determined to not accept the game as a gift as we were to give it away, that could have come back to bite them.

The O line is a chronic problem for the Steelers, and unless a potential superstar at some other position is available, they really ought to draft there first next year. The fact that Big Ben gets hit more than all the world's pinatas put together also says to me that with Ben's age, etc., it may be time to start thinking about the next Steeler QB. Ben is as tough as they come, but one day he's going to go down and not get up.

Another Thursday

2011-12-08T05:46:00.005-05:00

Thursday is named for the Norse god Thor. Anyone for Christianizing the names of the days of the week? Sunday could become Sonday and Monday would be Maryday. Easy enough. After that, it gets tough. Thomasday?

Years ago, on line, I got into a chat with a group that worshipped the Norse gods. They claimed to be serious, but I got the feeling they were just celebrating their Scandinavian/Viking heritage.

Park-alypse didn't happen at TGSLC thanks to a dedicated member who came out early in the morning to explain the situation to the commuters. Him being a tough-as-nails ex-Marine probably didn't hurt.

Product endorsement: One of the major causes of head injuries are falls in the dark. Recently we purchased some "night lights" from a company called Maxxima. They turn themselves off and on in the dark and light, and, if "on" ten hours per day, they use about 25 cents in electricity per year -- new enviro friendly hi tech. I'm very happy with them at less than $4.00 each, plus I got free shipping.

Another endorsement: I was unhappy to need emergency medical care again, but the new Urgent Care on Wm. Penn Highway, next to the Subway, is great. I was seen and treated immediately (in and out in less than 40 minutes -- try that in any ER) and with great compassion and competence.

ALPB Fall Out

2011-12-07T06:36:00.004-05:00

That's not me, that's Milhouse from The Simpson's as Fall Out Boy, although the resemblance is uncanny, especially the facial expression (and cape). [Everyone knows Milhouse was President Richard Nixon's middle name, right?]

My article on "Dissenting in Place: The Cost of Commenting on the Emperor's New Clothes" is in the Winter 2011 edition of Lutheran Forum, a journal of the independent, pan-Lutheran American Lutheran Publicity Bureau. I think all subscribers have a copy now (and I gave away a bunch at the NALC Convocation); if anyone wants one, if at all possible, I'll get a copy of the article to you (contact me). As usually happens, the people who really need to read it probably won't.

As expected, people have telephoned me and emailed about what I wrote (i.e., fall out, get it?) Thus far, everyone has been supportive, empathetic, and complimentary. One person described it as "heartbreaking" -- yeah, my heart's broken. I haven't heard anything through "official channels" yet. I'll let you know, Dear Blog Readers.

We should count it as an honor to suffer with Christ, but it's never easy, is it?

Park-alypse

2011-12-05T06:15:00.005-05:00

Today could be Parking Apocalypse at The Good Shepherd. TGSLC is blessed with abundant parking. For years the congregation allowed commuters to park there for free and take the PAT buses to their jobs in downtown Pittsburgh. This seemed like a good thing to do because mass transit is environmentally friendly and it served the people of the community. Of course, no good deed goes unpunished. People would leave their trash on our lots. If someones car was sideswiped by another, or if someone slipped on the ice, they talked about suing us. There was one area designated for commuter parking. But when that became full, people would park in the church parking areas, or even on the church lawn. That was problematic because, contrary to popular belief, their are events at the church every day, not just Sunday. More than 20 outside groups use the church each week, such as Al-anon and Domestic Abuse Counseling. We needed our parking spaces, and we especially needed people to respect the handicap spaces.

These problems came to a head when a policeman was killed in the line of duty and the funeral was at the church. The commuters had parked in the church area, leaving no space for the many mourners. An entrepreneur stepped up and made an offer to the church. He would rent our lots and pay us $1,000 per month. He would charge commuters $1 to park and he would provide snow removal, lighting, liability insurance, and a person stationed at the lot daily to see that no one parked in the church spaces. It was a very good arrangement. Good things never last.

A small but vocal, and politically connected, group complained. Publicly they said the paid lot caused traffic problems (it didn't cause problems when it was free?). They also said that the lot "brought in the wrong element" (sounded like thinly-veiled racism to me; and people taking buses to go to work are the "wrong element?"). Additionally, they said teenagers drank and had sex on our lots after hours (not true, but irrelevant anyway). Privately they said that a non-profit church shouldn't charge for parking (never mind that their churches had fish fries, day care centers, and bingo!). Long story short, the local government ruled that we were not zoned to operate a Park N Ride, and it was closed down.

A new Park N Ride was set up at a local strip mall. Makes sense for the strip mall. People who park there often stop in the stores for milk, bread, and lotto tickets. I was never aware of anyone from our lots stopping by the church to pray and make an offering to World Hunger. Well, last Friday was the last day for parking at the strip mall. Last week several people called to inquire about parking at the church. We said we can't allow that. That hasn't stopped people before. Folks just assume church property is public property for them to use and abuse as they wish. Could be an interesting couple of days while we chain off our lots, post "No Parking" signs and leave notices on cars saying "Don't make us have you towed." If the Dept. of Transportation would just make us a reasonable offer to provide what the entrepreneur provided, sans the $1,000 even, and the Municipality would give us zoning clearance, I could advocate for that. We must be good stewards of the resources entrusted to us. But we cannot open the church up to added expense and liability. That's not faithful.

Mission District News

2011-12-03T15:57:00.007-05:00

Just got back from the First Annual North American Lutheran Church [insert name here] Mission District Convocation. The [insert name here] is because one of the first orders of business was to name the Mission District (but more on that later). I cannot remember the last time I left a meeting so excited and energized -- certainly it was before 2009 -- and I'm not even a NALC member (although I will use the pronoun "we").

The Meeting was at Emmanuel L C, Export, PA. I was invited to be parliamentarian; I was honored to oblige. It took three ballots to "name the baby," but finally we decided on Mid-Northeast Regional Area Mission District. Not as whimsical as the runner-up, Abundant Waters, but more descriptive. Pastor Eric Riesen was elected Dean unanimously. A constitution was adopted that requires us, among other things, to always look on the bright side of life. (I reserve my right to be a curmudgeon.) What I really like about the constitution is that it calls for the pastor and one lay member to represent their congregation at the convocations. And the representatives are truly delegates, not "lay voting members." There is no quota system of so many women and men, so many people of color, so many youth, etc.

There were displays from Bethesda Children's Home, Lutheran Marriage Encounter, Bread for the World, and Sola Publishing. A representative was there from Trinity Episcopal School of Ministry, which describes itself as an "evangelical seminary in the Anglican tradition," and which is affiliated with the North American Anglican Communion, not the Episcopal Church USA. NALC has an official relationship with Trinity for training NALC seminarians. There was also a representative of St. Paul Lutheran Seminary, which NALC is considering a relationship with. What I really like about St. Paul is that they do interactive distance learning with mentoring., are outcome based, and employ "just in time," not "just in case," education.

Lutheran Pastor Don Green was there representing Christian Associates of Southwestern Pennsylvania. He described us as "a mid-level judicatory within a denomination." That's the CASWPA jargon. We did vote to look into joining CASWPA. Also on the ecumenical scene, NALC, at the behest of the African Lutheran churches and the Vatican, is applying for membership to the Lutheran World Federation, because Africa and Rome want an orthodox, confessional Lutheran presence in that body. That could happen by 2013. Regarding joint service projects with the ELCA and the LCMS, that is a possibility but... The story was told of the ELCA telling its volunteers in the Gulf Coast not to pray or mention Jesus during their Mission Trip (kind of makes the name Mission Trip ironic, doesn't it?) Such instances are exactly why the LCMS is re-thinking its joint projects with the ELCA.

NALC General Secretary Mark Chavez was there. NALC currently has 293 congregations and that could be 300 by the end of the year -- about 3X what was expected at this point. NALC is now the fifth largest Lutheran body in the US behind the ELCA, LCMS, WELS, and LCMC. Thrivent will be making grants to NALC soon. There are currently more pastors interested in serving NALC than NALC has congregations. NALC is also sending 6 missionaries abroad.

Locally, there is a NALC women's group, sort of like WELCA. NALC also has a regional youth ministry program and will be holding its own Bible Bowl. Just one more thing: NALC does not define itself by what it left behind, i.e., the ELCA, but is moving forward into the future. The name ELCA was not even uttered at the meeting until near the end in the Q&A session with Pr. Chavez, when people asked about the health plan, etc. I could go on, but let that information suffice for now and rejoice that God is moving mightily among us.

No Religion

2011-12-02T16:06:00.006-05:00

Went shopping for boxed Christmas cards at Target today. I don't know about the individual cards, I didn't look at them, but among the boxed cards that was not a single set with Jesus, Mary and/or Joseph -- NOT A SINGLE BOX. There was one with a church and another with a dove but that was as Christian as it got, unless you think snowmen and reindeer are religious. I think the war on Christmas is over and Baby Jesus lost. At least Ricky Bobby still prays to him.

Speaking of prayer, Gov. Rick Perry (R-Tex) declared a statewide day of prayer for Texas. A number of people protested that, including ELCA TX-LA Synod Bishop Michael Rhinehart. A LUTHERAN BISHOP OPPOSED A DAY OF PRAYER! He said it was exclusionary; non-Christians might feel left out. How would a pagan feel at a Lutheran worship service? Probably right at home these days in TX-LA; I'd probably feel left out.

Speaking of being left out, the ELCA Board of Pensions (aka BOP) has reversed itself, and its long-standing policies, and will not allow pastors and congregations leaving the ELCA to stay in its retirement and health insurance programs. The ELCA believes in, and lobbies for, universal health care for everyone -- except pastors leaving the ELCA. (One reason that a lot pastors want to leave BOP is that it pays for abortions for any reason -- A CHURCH PAYS FOR ELCTIVE ABORTIONS! I got out of the health care portion of BOP a couple years ago and saved my congregation a bundle, I mean thousands of dollars, and I got better health care.

Speaking of lobbying, Max Lucado pointed out that when Peter was arrested the believers didn't protest or hire a lawyer, THEY PRAYED. Maybe rather than hiring lobbyists the ELCA should get people to pray.

Core Values

2011-11-30T07:11:00.010-05:00

Lutheran groups in North America can be a confusing alphabet soup of acronyms these days. Back at the 2007 I was on the steering committee of a group called, surprisingly not by an acronym, Solid Rock Lutherans. We stood in opposition to the what would become the ELCA's Social Statement on Human Sexuality. Solid Rock was issue specific and purposefully retired itself at the end of the 2007 Assembly.

However, some of the Solid Rock leadership went on to form the Lutheran Coalition for Reform, aka Lutheran CORE, or just CORE for short. The beauty of CORE was that it brought together Mid-western Word Alone types with East Coast Evangelical Catholic types. After the 2009 Assembly CORE renamed itself the Lutheran Coalition for Renewal and spun off the North American Lutheran Church (NALC). It gets confusing, but any Lutheran can be a member of CORE. I am an ELCA pastor and CORE member. NALC is a separate corporation/denomination from the ELCA; you cannot be part of both. Since the 2009 Assembly, the ELCA has lost more than 500 congregations, most of these to LCMC (Lutheran Congregations in Mission for Christ). NALC, incorporated in August 2011, now has almost 300 member congregations. There is talk of a NALC mission in Pittsburgh.

At about the time of 2009 Assembly, another pastor and I convened two meeting for like minded pastors at the Panera Bread in Monroeville. We took to calling ourselves the Panera Group. Many of these pastors have since joined CORE and/or NALC. The local NALC Mission District will be holding an organizational meeting this Saturday. Although I am NOT a NALC pastor, I have been invited to be parliamentarian at the meeting. (I am a NAP certified parliamentarian, the only one in our synod, but I am no longer asked to serve our synod that way.) One of the agenda items will be to name the local NALC Mission District. Among the many choices, the favorite seems to be: PANERA. That stands for Pennsylvania and North East Regional Area. I like it!

Added Bonus for Blog Readers: I got an email today (Nov. 30 -- St. Andrew's Day) from ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson. Not a personal email, mind you, but a form letter. All sorts of church festivals and commemorations pass without a word from our Bishop, but he never misses the two biggest festivals of the church year: Earth Day and World AIDS Day. I mean, why would a bishop comment on St. Andrew's Day when there are secular causes that need to be touted? The news of the email is that the ELCA and the Episcopal church are combining their lobbying efforts in Washington. D.C. (Buy a congressman lunch -- your benevolence dollars at work!) This is put forth like some ecumenical advance but its really because both the ELCA and the Episcopal church are "robbing Peter to pay Paul." Many of us are opposed to having lobbyists in Washington in principle, to say nothing of the left-wing agenda they advocate.

Sunday Sundries

2011-11-27T16:32:00.004-05:00

The first Sunday of Advent is more celebrated in Europe than the US, but it brings out some random religious weirdness on both sides of the pond.

A town in Sweden erects a 13 meter (that's about 40 feet for you non-metric types) tall straw goat each First Sunday in Advent. The goat creates a "friendly" competition between the townsfolk, dividing them into one group that wants to see if it will survive the elements until Christmas, and another group who want burn it down. Those crazy Swedes. They used to be Lutheran, y'know.

A Frosty the Snowman character in a "Christmas" parade in an English town got into a scuffle with police and wound up in jail. Those crazy British, they used to be Church of England, y'know.

A US female Episcopal priest has stopped wearing a cross, she says, because it offends Muslims. More to the point, why aren't women priests called "priestesses?"

The Episcopal Church USA took heat for leaving "through Jesus Christ our Lord" out of the Book of Common Prayer collect it publishes on its website each week. They corrected it when it was brought to their attention and said it was a "cutting and pasting" error. As someone pointed out, how could you cut and paste the petition at the beginning and the "Amen" at the end, and accidentally leave out Jesus in the middle?

Sam's Club decided to pull the Lego Bible play set off its shelves after receiving exactly one complaint.

I was on leave today and the church I worshipped in did not shy away from the themes of judgment so apparent in the lessons on this First Sunday in Advent as so many mainline (sideline?) denominations do today.

Black Friday

2011-11-25T13:28:00.009-05:00

Black Friday is a song by Steely Dan about a failed 19th century US gold market ploy that left several investors broke. Some people see religious imagery in the song with references both to the Crucifixion and to the Antichrist.

Did the Black Friday shopping thing, sort of. We hit the mall just after 7:00 a.m. The papers said that the midnight openings drew crowds, but I was surprised by how un-crowed things were when we were shopping. No pushing or shoving or elbows flying. Is that a bad sign for the economy? We got a lot done with some good deals, and were back home by 11:00.

Overheard a hostess at a restaurant say that she works two jobs and was working the day shift at the diner after working the night shift in retail. Often it's forgotten that Black Friday must not be a lot of fun, or very profitable, for the salespeople who have to work the odd hours after what may be their only day until after Christmas. I've also read that Black Friday is not the economic bonanza for retailers everyone thinks it is. In fact, there are a lot of myths about Black Friday that just aren't true. You can read about them on the Internet.

On Living Lutheran someone blogged about Christmas gift giving. Is it good? Is it bad? Should gifts be homemade only? Do we have a duty to stimulate the economy? Personally, I'm ambivalent. "Jesus is the reason for the season" and that can get lost in the commercialism. Jesus' birth shouldn't be "an excuse to pick a man's pockets once a year." Still, I don't mind the cultural traditions existing along side the religious traditions, as long as the secular doesn't overtake the spiritual.

A Friday off, besides giving me an excuse not to shave -- I hate shaving, gave me a chance to sit on the front porch in the unseasonable warm weather and read a book. I enjoy books written by and about MLB managers. Pastors are not managers but maybe there is something I can learn from them. For instance, communication is of utmost importance, but still, you can do all you can to teach and inspire, but somehow things don't always work out as you planned.

UPDATE: This just in, CBS News reports that there was a schuffle at the Monroevill (PA) Mall -- that's where I shopped -- however, it was on Thursday night and involved several women/girls fighting over yoga pants at Victoria's Secret. Can you belive it!

Thanksgiving Thinking

2011-11-24T16:43:00.006-05:00

Let's remember who it is we give thank to on Thanksgiving: The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob; the Father of of our Lord Jesus Christ; the One who was, and is, and is to come; The Triune God who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. [Who do atheists thank on Thanksgiving? Themselves?]

Had a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, which includes, for those of us of German descent, sauerkraut. Ours was a little different this year; fresh kraut with a hint of pineapple juice and Splenda --sweet, tart, and crispy. Delicious!

Someone observed that NFL football on Thanksgiving Day gives people something to watch (involving teams they don't normally root for) so they don't have to talk to each other. Astute! (Or you could just sit at your computer.")

Never saw the fascination with Thanksgiving Day parades. Do they still have giant cartoon character balloons? I see that McDonald's has a parade now as well as Macy's.

Also never did the Black Friday shopping thing before, but we plan to tomorrow. I saw a stat that said 10% more people plan to shop Black Friday this year as opposed to last year. Lucky me! I really don't like that name "Black Friday" Wasn't that the day the stock market crashed in 1929? Isn't black (or none) the liturgical color for "Good Friday."

Garrison Keillor says that pumpkin pie is an "exercise in mediocrity." "The worst one you ever had wasn't that different from the best." I think he's right. Thank God for lo-cal Cool Whip.

Don't tell anybody but... we've taken to decorating the house for Xmas on Thanksgiving weekend. Late Advent is just too hectic for us.

The "X" in "Xmas" isn't really a "X." It's the Greek letter "chi" which is the first letter of "Christ" in that language.

Wednesday a salesperson wished me a "Happy Holiday." I resisted the urge to complain about "The War on Thanksgiving" and threaten a boycott of her store if they didn't say "Happy Thanksgiving."

Our Pilgrim forebears were all for religious freedom -- for themselves only. The religious intolerance of Anabaptist's lives on. Seven men of an Amish sect were arrested in Ohio yesterday for terrorizing a rival Amish group. There are also accusations against the sect's leader of a salacious nature. Wonder how the Amish hold up in jail?

Novelty

2011-11-23T11:23:00.006-05:00

One of my college professors (see generic professor image above) had a sign on his door that read something like, "If you keep rewarding effort without success, soon people learn to try without ever accomplishing anything." I thought that was cruel at the time, but now I'm beginning to understand. A lot of people in my generation and those that followed got the idea that if you just show up for work, smile, and say positive things, the world owes you a living. A lot of people merely "go through the motions" of their chosen profession or other endeavors, and think they have done enough. They expect praise and rewards for trying without succeeding. At some point, don't you think you have to actually get results? Remember Al Davis' motto: "Just win, baby!" That says to me: Don't worry about statistics, don't worry about looking good, don't worry about what others say about you -- just achieve the goal!

In high school, college, and seminary, we were often assigned research projects. Usually we were told that our grade would be based on our research method and how well we expressed ourselves, not on the value or correctness of our conclusions. In other words, it wasn't whether we right or wrong that mattered, but how creative we were and how eloquently we wrote. Isn't it more important to get the right answer? Isn't a beautifully crafted essay that reaches the wrong conclusion still just plain wrong? I wish that my education had given me more exposure to Truth and put less emphasis on teaching how to generate novelty.

A friend of mine once shared with me an experience he had in Clinical Pastoral Education. His supervisor told his group to invent a new sacrament --this despite the fact that sacraments are gifts we receive from God, not things we make up. More time should be spent in spiritual formation studying and coming to appreciate the faith that has been handed down to us, than trying to create something new and different for the sake of novelty.

A lot of problems in the church and the world today stem from the fact that we appreciate form over substance, and trust feelings over facts, leading to bizarre aberrations in policy and doctrine that are out of touch with physical and metaphysical reality. However you might judge his politics, you have to admire Henry Clay, whom Abraham Lincoln said was his idea of "a great man," when Clay said, "I'd rather be right than President." Too often truth is modulated to fit popular opinion. That's how we got where we are.

Thanksgiving Horror

2011-11-21T23:56:00.010-05:00

That's a Pittsburgh Turkey above. For the uninitiated, the body is Islay's Chipped Ham ("Chip-chop"), the drumsticks are Iron City beer (which, contrary to popular belief, is not made from the water used to cool the hot steel as it comes out of the mill -- they use only pure Rocky Mountain stream water), and the wings are pierogies (dough pockets stuffed with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes, then fried in butter -- the favorite of cardiologists everywhere).

Just read an article about Thanksgiving horror stories, i.e., champagne corks shattering chandeliers and raining glass shards on the turkey, dogs eating pumpkin pies, cats bringing live mice to the table during dinner, etc. My Thanksgiving memory is my Mom trying to carve a turkey and exclaiming, "This turkey has no meat on its breast!" Actually she had cooked the turkey upside down, and was trying to carve the turkey's bony back. On the plus side, it was the most moist turkey breast I ever had.

A few years ago someone had the bright idea to add a little of the leftover apricot brandy to the juices basting the turkey. Later, trying to lift the turkey (Birdzilla) from the oven, I sloshed the juices out of the roasting pan and onto the hot oven interior. This created a literal fire ball that flew out of the oven and singed my eyebrows and moustache.

Not a horror story but touching. As a kid Thanksgiving was a "nuclear family" celebration at home, just the four of us. After dinner we went to visit relatives. As we got older and my parents moved to Patapsco Ave., Mom was good for inviting "orphans" to Thanksgiving dinner. I recall one Thanksgiving where she had to dinner a divorced, unemployed, homeless guy I grew up with it. Another year it was a poor widow raising her grandchildren. Another year, a frail elderly woman abandoned by her family. Ain't that what it's all about?

Roman Missal

2011-11-21T15:16:00.005-05:00

No, that's not the new Catholic liturgy, that's a Cold War era NATO Nike 5 rocket stationed in Italy, a true Roman missile .

Starting next Sunday, Advent I, English speaking Roman Catholics all over the world will begin using a new Roman Missal. The new Missal is a rather strict translation of the Latin. Liberals hate it, saying its good Latin translated into bad English. Conservatives love it because it's more formal and traditional. The reply to the priest saying, "The Lord be with you," is no longer "And also with you," but back to the more traditional, "And with your spirit." I like that. (Ask someone who grew up with the Latin Mass, "What is God's phone number?" Answer: Et cum spiritu tuo -- if there's a Latin joke that isn't funny, I've never heard it!)

There are still many Roman Catholics who love the old Latin Mass. Wherever it is celebrated it usually draws crowds. Of course, a principle of the Lutheran Reformation is that worship should be in the language of the people. But if people know and love Latin. would it be okay for a Protestant to celebrate the Holy Communion in Latin? I'm just asking.

There used to be cards with the Latin mass spelled out phonetically so that priests whose Latin was not so good could keep them on the altar as a "cheat sheet." You can buy them on EBay today. Huked on fonix werked fer me!

Several years ago, when Trekkies learning Kligon was a fad, a weekend "learn Klingon" retreat translated the Lord's Prayer into Klingon and the those on the retreat prayed it that way. Asked what he thought of that, the editor of Lutheran Forum Letter at the time said something like, "If a Klingon prayed it, you can be sure he meant it." Shalom!

Roman Catholic

2011-11-19T21:32:00.009-05:00

The Roman Catholic Church has bought the Crystal Cathedral (above) Garden Grove, CA, , once home to Robert Schuller's Hour of Power television ministry. The diocese will lease the building back to Schuller's daughter, now head of the corporation, for three years. Then it will be retro-fitted as a Catholic church, although the exterior will remain unchanged.

A protest by the Catholic Church has removed TV ads for Axe deodorant from broadcast in South Africa. The ads show objects falling from heaven which turn out to be angels --Victoria's Secret type angels. The angels chase down a handsome young man and tear off their halos (which explode when hitting the ground). After a cut away with the caption "Angels Will Fall," we see the man walking a way from a bed full of feathers.

George Herman "Babe" Ruth converted to Roman Catholicism when he was a student at St. Mary's in Baltimore, MD, where he was learning to be a shirt maker before his ruthian baseball career. Former Baltimore Colt Milt Davis became a Roman Catholic when he was a young man as well. He said they gave a free donut to anyone who attended catechism classes.

Standing Up, Speaking Out

2011-11-18T08:02:00.007-05:00

Franco Harris, former Steeler Star and chairman of the Pittsburgh Promise, a charity that gives scholarships to Pittsburgh students, has taken a leave of absence from his post. Franco expressed support for his former coach at Penn State, Joe Paterno. Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl interpreted that as callous disregard for the abuse victims and Franco had to go.

Duquesne University, a Roman Catholic University, refused to officially recognize a student atheist group because their mission is contrary to the school's mission ("to serve God by serving students"). Students from Duquesne, Pitt, and CMU are protesting.

Several people at Penn State are in big trouble for not more zealously reporting or taking more action regarding allegations of sexual abuse.

Do you see the "Catch 22?" Franco and the Duquesne officials are being pilloried for standing up and speaking out on their beliefs, while the folks involved in the trouble at Penn State are being pilloried for not standing up and speaking out.

Me? I say you have to stand up and speak out, whatever the consequences. Many people have trouble with decisions the larger church has made. We must stand up and speak out against policies that lead our youth into decadence, disease, and degradation. Those who do not speak out against un-scriptural doctrine will be judged by history to be like those who knuckled under to the Nazis or those who opposed Civil Rights in the 1960s.

A Good Thursday

2011-11-17T15:50:00.004-05:00

TGSLC collected more than 50 bags of groceries and personal hygiene items, from pasta sauce to dental floss, for the food pantry we support last week on Harvest Sunday. This morning, the four learning disabled young men who come to TGSLC from the local high school (GSH) once a week for one hour to learn job skills, their teacher, and I, loaded up my SUV with the food. It literally filled the vehicle! Then we drove to the food bank and unloaded them. The kids were great! They had fun and worked hard. So did I.

Went to the WORD-FM Annual Pastors' Appreciation Luncheon at Heinz Field. This was my first time. Everything was well done and very well organized. There were more than 500 pastors there including five LCMS, two NALC and two ELCA. Most of the pastors were Evangelicals or Charismatics, but that's okay. I also saw a fair number of Anglicans (not Episcopalians -- Anglicans!) and a couple pastors from Monroeville. Parking was free, the free lunch was good (cheesecake for dessert!), but most of all I enjoyed talking with my friends and colleagues. There were display tables set up by Christian colleges, insurance companies, adoption networks, etc. Getting free pens, key chains, tote bags and letter openers isn't as much fun as it used to be for me. But, there were NO sales pitches. Thank you! I didn't win any door prizes (and a weekend getaway sounds nice right about now). The guest speaker was from Focus on the Family. We sang, "How Great Thou Art" and there was prayer along with a benediction. They kept to their schedule. A good event.

Word Play

2011-11-16T21:06:00.004-05:00

Probably 2 busy to post tomorrow, so 2 posts today. Gotta give the people what they want.

Max Lucado is a master at word play. Consider these:

"The word is out, the Word is out." [in light of John 1, the Resurrection, and Acts 2.]

Disunity among Christians is "Mutiny of the Body. [in light of "The Church is the Body of Christ"]

Some of my favorite word plays for those overly impressed with themselves:

He was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple.

On the surface he's very deep; deep down he's very shallow.

He's a "legend in his own mind."

U NO WHO U R!

In the News

2011-11-16T06:15:00.008-05:00

In the News was series of short news reports that CBS would run between cartoons on Saturday mornings when I was a kid. I guess the idea was to make our generation more aware of of current and world events. Good idea. Good creative content. Shame it failed.

Recent strange but true items (many from The Week):

Last week the House of Representatives voted 396-9 to reaffirm that our national motto is "In God We Trust." So the next time someone says religion has no legal or official place in politics, correct them. How's that for politically correct?

The Governor of Wisconsin declared the tree to be set up in the state capital's rotunda will be a Christmas Tree, not a Holiday Tree. Is this a victory for the good guys in the War on Christmas?

Bankrupt Harrisburg, PA, was going to cancel it's annual pre-holiday parade until several donors contributed the money to fund it again this year. Score one for Santa Claus.

Harold camping, who erroneously predicted the end of the world. not just once but twice in 2011, says he's retiring. Will the Mayan Calendar retire if the world doesn't end in 2012?

Music. music, music

2011-11-15T17:06:00.005-05:00

Turned on the radio this morning to WQED just in time to hear the King's College Choir sing the final verse of Abide With Me, perhaps my favorite hymn. What a nice little treat from God! Of course, some people say that if you listen to Public Radio and don't pledge, it's the same as stealing.

The other day at the gym someone made a derogatory comment the music they play there. In my opinion, it is pretty awful. I said to him, "I never wanted to be an old person who says, 'I don't understand the music these kids listen to today,' but I really don't understand the music these kids listen to today."

Loaded up my MP3 player with Advent/Christmas music. Now I can do something I've always dreamed of: listen to several different versions of the same carol consecutively. For instance, to test it out, I listened to about a half-dozen renditions of Angels We Have Heard on High including Nat King Cole, The Roches. Relaint K, Michael Crawford, and a Spanish language version with a Latin beat, plus others. This ran the gamut from hard rock to lush orchestration with a choir. It was just about everything I hoped for. Can't wait to hear umpteen versions of my favorite carol, God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen (see graphic above).

Don't tell anyone I sometimes listen to Christmas music in Advent, and even before Advent, OUTSIDE OF WORSHIP. Lutherans might be on the wrong side of a lot of moral, social, and theological issues, but we know how to keep Christmas carols out of Advent. Yes, sireee! If we cannot be ethical and scriptural, let's at least be liturgical. (Or, to quote M. Scott Peck, "The correct fork before truth.")

The Amish

2011-11-12T21:17:00.007-05:00

The Amish, one of the historic "peace churches," has been it at war with itself as of late. There have been several incidents of members of one break away sect attacking members of the majority, and chopping off the men's beards and cutting the women's hair. Yesterday a 70 year old man in Ohio was shorn of his beard by his sons and grandsons. Sad. He declined to press charges. Other perpetrators have been arrested.

The Door (nee the Wittenburg Door) once published a list of ways to tell if your Amish son is going bad. It included:

He has pictures of women without bonnets.

He wears colored socks.

His name is Jedediah but his friends call him "Jeb Daddy."

He says, "If we had electricity, I'd listen to Rap."

Did you know the Amish tradition of wearing a beard with no mustache grew out of a protest of the military style of the 19th century which was to wear a mustache and no beard?

A friend of ours had a sister who, although not Amish, made Amish-style quilts and sold them at at a farmers' market in Lancaster County, PA (home to many Amish). She would enlist her brother to man the stall at the market during the summer. There he would be, in a Pink Floyd T-shirt and smoking a cigarette, and people would ask him, "Are you Amish?'' Blowing a stream of smoke their way he would answer, "Yeah, I'm Amish." Gotta love it!

One of my fondest memories of early married life was Melanie and I taking a "mental health day," calling in sick to work, and going to the Amish Country. If I remember correctly, this was right around the time of the Harrison Ford film Witness and I thought it would be so cool to live a year among the Amish.

From what I heard from non-Amish Farmers in York County, the Amish farmers in Lancaster County were very shrewd businessmen.

On 11 at 11

2011-11-11T05:51:00.006-05:00

"On 11 at !11" was the slogan of the eleven clock news on Channel 11 where I grew up. Catchy. I still remember it after all these years.

Today is November 11, 2011, aka 11-11-11. Also catchy. Read an article this morning saying some people people consider this day to have special spiritual significance because it's 11-11-11, and are getting married today, etc. What a load of hooey! Dates are totally arbitrary. The old Roman calendar had only ten months until July and August were added for Julius Caesar and Augustus Caesar respectively. That explains why "November" meaning "the ninth month" is now the eleventh month. No one knows the exact year Jesus was born, but it's likely that 1 A.D., his birth year (there was no 0 A.D.), was miscalculated and Jesus was actually born in what we would call 4 B.C. But again, no one knows for sure. A lunar month has 28 days, but that doesn't divide evenly in to the 365.25 days of a solar year, so months arbitrarily have 28, 29, 30 or 31 days. I'll say it one more time, to attribute any significance to 11-11-11 is silly because all numerology is hooey.

Today is Veterans' Day and that is significant. The Great War, aka World War I, ended at eleven o'clock on an eleventh day of the eleventh month, hence the reason for picking this day to honor our war heroes. WWI is often neglected in our teaching of history and that's too bad. The bad decisions made in that train car led to the Great Depression which led to World War II which led to the Cold War which led us to where we are today.

Yesterday, 11-10-11, was Martin Luther's 528th Birthday. Happy Birthday Martin! You don't look a day over 500!

November 10 is also the anniversary of the founding of the U.S. Marine Corps (don't pronounce the "ps" like some public figures!). Semper fi.

Penn State and Paterno

2011-11-09T23:17:00.012-05:00

I used to live in Central Pennsylvania. If you haven't lived there and experienced it for yourself, it's hard to explain the respect, reverence, and love people had for Joe Paterno, affectionately known as JoePa. The love was extreme. Extremely extreme. I would joke that Penn State Football was a bigger religion than Christianity. Maybe that wasn't really a joke. To schedule a church event opposite a Penn State football game was futile and foolish. People's admiration and adoration of JoePa was truly worship worthy of a god. And people believed Joe Pa, like God, could do no wrong. Ten thousand students rioted last night in State College protesting his firing and demanding his reinstatement. Nothing since the War in Vietnam has brought out student activism like that.

That JoePa would be fired in such ignominy would have been absolutely unthinkable just a few days ago. It's beyond shocking. Way beyond. What a shame that his legendary career would end in such a tragic way. Sure, JoePa probably should have retired years ago. He was obviously past his prime. Many people consider saying anything bad like that about JoePa as blasphemey. No one could have predicted an ending like this.

It always struck me a ludicrous that the best paid person on the Penn State campus was the football coach. I guess having a winning football team brings in alumni money, but let's get real. How do you justify paying a guy millions off dollars to coach players who don't get paid at all? Why does a guy who coaches amateurs get paid more than coaches who coach professionals? Shouldn't someone, say for instance a guy working on curing cancer, deserve more salary than a man coaching boys playing a game? I enjoy football, but there are more important things in life.

I do feel sorry for JoePa. Of course, I don't know all the facts; maybe no one does. This is America and people are presumed innocent until proven guilty. JoePa seems to me to have followed the letter of the law, if not the spirit. I think he was in over his head at his age. I think he may not have fully understood what was going on. I hope and pray he didn't cover anything up just for the sake of his program, the university, or his reputation. I think handling a situation like this was beyond his abilities, which were, sadly, only human after all. All too human.

There seems to me to be a larger issue afoot here. Residents of the ancient Middle East worshipped a god named Molock. Molock demanded ritual child sacrifice. One of the distinguishing features of the God of the Hebrews (and later the Christians) was that He did not demand human sacrifice (think of the story of Abraham and Isaac). I ask, are we sacrificing our children today to the god of sexuality (and to the gods of money and football)?

As sexual norms and mores loosen, children are drawn into the modern sexual maelstrom. There is a truly a slippery slope. If prostitution is legal is Las Vegas, why not everywhere? And if the market demands younger sex workers, why not have them? Pornography is profitable, so why not sell child pornography if people will buy it? There are organizations that advocate and lobby for the decriminalization of sexual relations between men and boys. I believe it's called the North American Man Boy Love Association. (I was going to research that a bit, but didn't -- quite frankly I was afraid to type it into my search engine!) They say that just as homosexuality was illegal and considered immoral a few decades ago, but is now generally accepted, so will pedophilia eventually gain acceptance. To that end, they financially support whatever legislation comes down the pike in church or state that overturns traditional sexual values.

A lot of people think that their sexual desires... and money... and even football ... are more important than children... their children... your children... If we don't take steps to stop them and protect our children, we are also to blame.

Going Rogue

2011-11-08T08:32:00.007-05:00

That's Sarah Palin going rogue, not going rouge.

Attended what I am calling the "Rogue Pastors" meeting yesterday, at a clandestine location. There were six of us.: three NALC and three "dissenting" ELCA pastors, who shall remain anonymous. Part of the meeting was preparation for the formation of the new NALC Mission District in this area. Although I am not a NALC pastor, I have been invited to be the parliamentarian at their first meeting, a position I no longer am invited to hold elsewhere. The other purpose of yesterday's meeting, the one I was more interested in, was to form a new pericope study group among confessional Lutheran pastors in the area. I stopped attending the local Cluster pericope study because, as someone gently put it, "it wasn't meeting my needs." We did form a new group and we will begin meeting November 21, at a clandestine location.

At a meeting like that, as you would imagine, there was a lot of "sharing" about our situations. I was not surprised by my brothers and sisters who said they were vilified and ostracized by other pastors for taking a confessional stance in their parishes and in the wider church. I was also not surprised at the underhanded tactics and interference from folks in high places that were used to influence congregational votes. I know I am reporting things here that are second hand, but the sources are people I know, love and trust. What I heard was that in a Conference Caucus, a lay person, a former synod council member, speaking publicly, condemned all NALC and CORE members to hell, and no comment was made by the official synod representative. Again, not surprising. There is a serious lack of civil discourse in the church today; dissenting pastors are fair game for slander. I see and hear that all the time. For a personal report on that from moi, see the winter edition of Lutheran Forum.

Old News

2011-11-07T00:17:00.004-05:00

Last week we blogged about an Islamic group at the Catholic University of America that has now filed suit over Muslims not having a place to pray on campus "without a crucifix of Jesus looking down on them." Perhaps they should transfer to California Lutheran University (one of the 28 universities and colleges of the ELCA -- inside joke!). The Christian Century reports that an atheist group on that campus is being supported and fondly embraced by the administration who welcomes the diversity (I guess Jesus said to embrace diversity, not preach the gospel). The atheist group has even used the Cal Luth U chapel for their meetings. The campus chaplain had a problem with that, but you can't expect a chaplain to understand the complexities of diversity and tuition dollars. I remember a similar controversy at the Gettysburg College (not the Seminary -- the Seminary has enough of its own problems). When the chapel was renovated the idea was to make the cross, etc., easily removable so that when other religious groups used the chapel, they could take down the cross and put up the Star of David or whatever. You can't expect a Lutheran college chapel to be exclusively Christian, can you?
- The Episcopal Diocese of Atlanta is proposing that Pelagius, who was condemned as a heretic by the Council of Carthage in the fifth century, be re-instated. Pelagius taught that there was no such thing as original sin and that we were saved by works, not faith. Not really surprising, is it?

1 and 2 Chronicles

2011-11-04T22:34:00.007-04:00

If you have a blog, it's fascinating to check your stats every now and again. The stats show not only how many people have been looking at the different posts, and at what times of day, etc., but also what path or links they took to reach the blog. Several people have found my blog through a featured post on the website, Exposing the ELCA. I suppose I don't have to tell you what their perspective is. My post, The Church, sees a lot of action from that website. 692 people have looked at that page over all time.

Just today I discovered that my latest post, The Battle of Gettysburg, was a featured poston an independent pan-Lutheran web site that was new to me, The Lutheran Chronicle.com. 17 people viewed that post today. It's amazing how many people follow a link like that to my blog and then read more there. It's also flattering, and a little scary, to know that some people are finding my blog by typing my name into a search engine. Who is out there looking for me in cyberspace?

BTW, Jan Rizzo and Co. at Living Lutheran (ELCA sponsored) seems to have corrected their technical problems. I'll be expecting some comments and some blog hits from there again. Of course, you can join five of the coolest people on earth and sign up to be a follower of my blog; you'll get alerts whenever I post something new. What a great way to get a daily dose of Vitamin E?

The Battle of Gettysburg

2011-11-04T09:02:00.006-04:00

I received my copy yesterday of Seminary Ridge Review, the journal of the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Gettysburg (above). Individual copies a valued at $9; as an alumnus, I get them free -- your tuition and benevolence dollars at work.

The latest edition has a manuscript of the Keynote Address of the Spring Convocation 2011, the theme of which was "We Tell To Love the Story." (No, I did not get the word order wrong, that's the correct title. Isn't that clever?) The presentation was given by Christopher Hedges. Mr. Hedges, we are told, is a Pulitzer-prize winning journalist, a graduate of Harvard Divinity School , and a best selling author. The editor said he was "pleased" to publish Hedges' text. I was less than pleased with the content.

Mr. Hedges refers to Newt Gingrich as "the scum of society." Republicans are called "bigots and lunatics." Is that any way to speak in a Christian chapel? Is that something that should be published in a nominally Christian journal? What ever happened to Luther's admonition that we speak charitably about our neighbor?

At least Mr. Hedges is an EOO (Equal Opportunity Offender). Democrats fare even worse in his diatribe. He describes Presidents Clinton and Obama as "immoral." "The Democratic Party, most egregiously, sold out working men and women for corporate money. It permitted under Bill Clinton and now Barack Obama the state apparatus to be surrendered to corporate interests." So says Mr Hedges. He adds that Barack Obama is a war criminal for his actions regarding the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, and, as such, he has forfeited his rights as a citizen. And, Hedges opines, "...Fear of the other is the only thing Obama and the Democratic Party intend to offer us..." Strong words.

I could not find a single quote from Holy Scripture in Hedges tirade, but he liberally quotes Camus and Havel. In his final paragraph Hedges equates his and his father's fights for racial equality, against war, and for gay rights with Christ's Resurrection. Do I need to comment on that?

My plan is to email the editor, development officer, and the president of the seminary and ask them to take my name off their mailing lists as a protest against this egregious publication. Someone has to let them know that what they are doing is offensive and counterproductive to the interests of the seminary (which I used to think was train people to preach Christ, but now I'm not so sure.) For too long we have kept silent while the leadership of the church has moved farther and farther away from Christ and his Word, and more and more Lutherans have left to find the gospel elsewhere.

Dear leaders

2011-11-03T08:38:00.006-04:00

Received an email from ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson. Some people have taken to calling him "Bishop Higgins" in the vernacular. The ELCA Corporate Offices are on Higgins Road in Chicago. The beautiful gothic cathedral above is our Churchwide office; notice the cross on top, the spire pointing heavenward, and the lovely stained glass windows. Our synodical bishop said about the Higgins Road office, after his first visit there, "I know some of you consider it the Death Star, it's really more like the Jedi Temple." I'm sure it is. (Are the Jedi Christian?)

Bishops Hanson's email was addressed "Dear leaders." I'm sure the fact that "leaders" was not capitalized was a mistake. Actually "leaders" is a mistake on many levels. Many pastors strenuously object to receiving correspondence from the ELCA addressed to "Rostered Leaders." The Lutheran Confessions say that the ordained ministry was created by God Himself (God's self?). The Church "ordains," not "rosters." "Rostered" isn't even a real word. Pastor have a different role from AIMs, deaconesses, deaconal ministers, lay professionals, etc. Would you give your husband or wife a letter that said "Dear Family Member." Anti-clericalism is rampant in the church. I'm told pastors are "encouraged" not to wear clerical collars at Higgins Road because there should be no distinctions between laity and clergy. I knew a pastor who would defiantly wear her clerics at Higgins Road; she's in NALC now.

Rostered Leader Hanson's letter was about his correspondence with President Obama and Congress regarding the ELCA advocacy for certain immigration legislation. Funny, I don't remember giving Rostered Leader Hanson permission to do political lobbying for me. His letter to the Prez and congress was dated November 1. That's All Saints Day. I would have thought he might tell Obama and the legislators about our hope in Christ. But no, it was what to do with illegal immigrants... I'm sorry, undocumented workers. I'm sure every senator, congressman, and the President himself (President's self?) sit up at night up wondering how to court the all important Lutheran vote. The legislation Hanson/Higgins is pushing is known by the acronym DREAM. I'm sure it is.

The Face of All Saints

2011-11-01T09:04:00.005-04:00

One of my Facebook "friends" asked "What is a saint?" and "Did a particular saint teach you something?" My answer: A saint is a member of the New Orleans NFL team. Russell Erxleben, my favorite all-time Saint, taught me to never take a kicker in the first round.

Another Facebook "friend" quoted her daughter saying, "When I'm a big boy, I want to play for the Steelers." Sounds like it's time for a little mother-daughter discussion of Galatians 3:28 in light of Genesis 1:27.

Here's some love and respect for Cardinal's manager Tony LaRussa, whom I'm willing to forgive for his past transgressions. Tony retired after his World Series victory. Gotta respect a guy on goes out on top and didn't give in to the temptation to manage one more season just to become the second winningest MLB manager of all time.

Just 54 days until Christmas.

the one-pecent

2011-10-31T09:04:00.004-04:00

Scripture tells us to care for the poor. It also tells us not to favor either the rich or the poor (this despite what many modern theologians call "the preferential option for the poor"). The recent "Occupy Wall Street" demonstrations and their spin-offs have brought conversation about the disparity of wealth to the forefront, including conversations among the Christian faithful. Once again I will wade in where angels fear to swim...

From what I was reading, it's true that the inequality between the 1% and the 99% is at an all time high. Did you know that more than half of our senators and congressmen are in the 1%, plus 1 in 6 are in the medical field, and 1 in 12 are lawyers? Not really surprising, is it?

But what surprised me is that the 1% pay 40% of the nation's taxes, and that most of the 1% also pay a higher tax rate than the middle class. That's documented. Part of the reason that some of the 1% pay lower taxes is that they get tax breaks to invest their wealth, which are risky, but which also create jobs and help the economy. The "Occupy" protests seem rather unfocused to me. One commentator pointed out that many of the protesters are college students or recent college graduates, and they are demanding forgiveness on student loans and free college tuition - in other words, GIMME, GIMME, GIMME. As the commentator also said, no one forced them to borrow $120,000 to get a degree in Gender Studies.

What does it mean to be poor today? When I was growing up, a lot of my neighbors had no car, no phone, and gave their children no Christmas presents. Now I get calls at the office from people on their cell phones saying they want gift certificates to buy Christmas presents and that they will drive to the church to pick them up. So, I ask, what is poverty? Is it all relative? The world is quite different today than it was before LBJ's "Great Society."

Halloween: Who you gonna call?

2011-10-29T22:08:00.005-04:00

I don't believe in ghosts, but I do enjoy occasionally reading about them. Saw an article about supposedly haunted national landmarks including Alcatraz, The Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Building, etc. A commentator asked, jokingly, I hope, "Why were so many Civil War battles fought in National Parks?" That was my LOL moment of the day.

I lived in Gettysburg. PA, 1985-86. I visited, and had friends who lived and worked in, Krauth House, Valentine Hall, and Schmucker House, all supposedly haunted. They, and I, never saw a ghost. In Gettysburg, I used to jog (hard to imagine this body of mine jogging, I know) especially late at night. It was often eerie in the darkness and quietness, with the statues, cannons, and such all around, but I can't say I ever saw a specter. I may have mentioned before that someone I know was staying in Schmucker House when he heard a commotion outside his window. It was the "Gettysburg Ghost Tour" identifying his room as haunted. I would have been tempted to let out a shriek or at least a "Boo."

BTW, I read somewhere years ago that "peek-a-boo." the game for infants teachings object permanence, literally mean "dead or alive," but I cannot document that.

Everything Saturday

2011-10-29T08:10:00.007-04:00

Tebowing; Bronco's QB Tim Tebow knelt and prayed after scoring the winning TD last Sunday. This has started a trend of people kneeling and praying in unusual places called "Tebowing." (Look left.) I'm all for it. Tim and his mother made headlines awhile back when they made a "Pro-life" TV commercial. Hey, if Sean Penn and Brad Pitt can talk about publicly their political convictions, why can't Tim Tebow state his religious convictions? I wish Tim Tebow all the best, except when he plays the Steelers.

Saw an article about Muslim students at the Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C. ( a private, not state funded, university) demanding that crucifixes be taken down in some areas and the right to form university-sponsored Muslim groups. I guess they didn't see Catholic in the school's name when they matriculated. I took many classes at CUA in my seminary days. The Shrine there is beautiful (above right).

A freak October snow storm has hit the East Coast, dusting Pittsburgh with snow. I'll be brushing "global warming" off my car this morning.

Congratulations to the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals and former Oriole Arthur Rhodes, who pitched in game 7 at 42 years young.

Incredible Cardinals

2011-10-28T00:53:00.005-04:00

I was reading Frank Robinson's "Extra Innings" and watching the World Series when I fell asleep in my recliner. As if by divine intervention, I awoke to see the bottom of the ninth inning and the Cardinals, down to their last strike, tie the game on a two-run triple by David Freese (above). Freese is a St. Louis hometown product and had dropped an easy pop-up earlier in the game. The Rangers took another two-run lead in the top of the tenth. Then the Cardinals, down to their last strike again, tied the game again. Thank you, Lance Berkman. It was well after midnight, when the Cards held off Texas in the top of the eleventh. Expecting to settle in for several more extra innings, I got a Diet Pepsi and microwaved some Bar-B-Q wings. I got back in my recliner just in time to see Freese's lead-off winning homer. Wow! This has been some series! Can't wait for Game 7. Like they said, "See you tomorrow night."

Earl Weaver on why baseball is the greatest game, "When you have a lead, you can't run out the clock. You still have the throw the ball over the plate where the other guy can hit it." Boy, did they tonight!

Coffee Talk

2011-10-27T08:00:00.004-04:00

Lutherans love their coffee, They say you can tell you're in a Lutheran church when it's 98 degrees outside, there is no air conditioning inside, and people are standing around a coffee pot drinking steaming hot Joe. (I'm told that Joe was the first name of the Secretary of the Navy who outlawed alcohol on Navy ships and replaced it with coffee. Hence the nickname Joe for coffee, originally preceded by an expletive.)

I grew up on instant coffee. My parents drank Nescafe and Maxwell House in the 1960s. It was simply what was done. Sometime in the 1970s we graduated to a Mr. Coffee ("Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?") and Folgers for special ocassions, but instant remained the everyday drink. I have the little Corning Ware Blue Corn Flower tea kettle my mother used to boil the water. And that water was super-heated. To this day I can eat or drink scalding hot foods that others cannot because my mother served everything that way.

I recall reading in the late 1970s a magazine article saying how coffee drinking was in decline and how young people didn't drink coffee like previous generations. The coffee cartels were looking for ways to make coffee attractive to young people. Looks like they succeeded. Ever hear of Starbucks? A Cinnamon Skinny Latte may or may not be "real" coffee in some people's opinions, but everybody has jumped on the coffee bandwagon. Even Wendy's now has their "Redheaded Roast."

I feel decadent buying coffee out. $4 for a Cup o' Joe just seems outrageous to me. At home I'm brewing Starbucks and Seattle's Best, plus whatever bargains I can find. Most churches still use the old standbys, Maxwell House and Folgers, which are easily and inexpensively bought in balk. However, I have been to a few churches that brew Starbucksd and other premium coffees. I've heard of mega-churches that have their own coffee cafes on site. An evangelsim idea?

Maximum Breakfast

2011-10-26T10:38:00.004-04:00

That's a full Englsih breakfast above, like we got in Ireland. You gotta love blood sausage and baked beans for breakfast!

Reading Max Lucado with breakfast is food for my soul. What a great way to start the day. Max Lucado: He's not just for breakfast anymore. Here's your daily dose of vitamin Max:

You have to wonder if God's most merciful act is his refusal to answer some of our prayers.

If we would just remember the heavenly bodies that await us, we'd stop complaining that he hasn't healed this earthly one.

Our problem isn't so much that God doesn't give us what we hope for as it is that we don't know the right thing for which to hope.

Indian Summer+

2011-10-25T15:23:00.008-04:00

Listening to NPR the other week, the hostess was apologizing profusely following a listener's complaint (not mine!) of her misuse of the term Indian Summer. Although often used to denote any warm autumn day (as that announcer did), specifically Indian Summer refers to a period of 70+ degree days following the first frost. The origin of the term is unclear. It likely comes from the fact that Native American raiding parties would discontinue their activities when the weather turned cold, but started raiding again if the weather turned warm. Indian Summer is now used to refer to any short flourishing period after a period of decline, as in the poem, The Indian Summer of the Heart. We had our first frost here Sunday and another this morning; I was scrapping ice off my car windshield. This afternoon it's 60+ degrees (see photo above); not quite Indian Summer for the purists among us, but close.

The Steelers woke up in first place this morning. The Ravens, #3 in last week's power rating, lost to the previously 1-5 Jaguars by a score of 12-7. Not quite as bad as the Browns over the Seahawks 6-3 Sunday, but close. The Ravens did not have a first down the entire first half. Fumbles and penalties killed both teams. The coup de grace was a Flacco interception to end the game. Every team in the AFC North has a .500 record or better. The Steelers are one of only four teams in the NFL with five or more wins. Three teams are win-less. Parity?

This Sunday is Reformation Sunday. Wear red. A Living Lutheran blog says we should "bury" Reformation Day. I disagree. My posting will be the feature Living Lutheran article on October 31. That's not Halloween, that's Reformation Day.

What's in my car CD changer for late October/Indian Summer/Halloween/Reformations Day? Classical Terror and Classical Thunder; The Alan Parson's Project Tales of Mystery and Imagination; John Michael Talbot; and the Dark Shadows soundtrack. An eclectic mix, I know. Sadly, I cannot find my Prairie Home Companion Horrors! Halloween CD.

Square Sunday

2011-10-22T22:27:00.005-04:00

Saw "Higher Ground" at the Regent Square Theater. That's a still from the film above. Before the movie review, a little about the theater. This theater is old. Old as in no stadium seating, no cup holders, one screen only and it's really not all that big. Had they shown a cartoon, newsreel, short feature, and serial before the feature film, I would have not been surprised. I bet they used to show silent movies there. As it was, the feature started a few minutes late with no trailers or "Scene It" trivia. This is not Destinta. Tickets were nine bucks each, with no matinee discount; we went at 3 p.m. on Saturday. The concessions stand took cash only. Only eight bucks for a large popcorn and two sodas, that's fourteen dollars at Destinta, but at Destinta the popcorn and sodas are bigger and refillable for free (I eat a lot of popcorn and drink a lot of soda). However, Regent Square offered Cajun or Old Bay Seasoning (my favorite!) for their popcorn; Destinta lets you drown your popcorn in butter. Oh, butter! I loved their sign at the Regent Square box office: If you must smuggle in food, please smuggle out your trash. The Regent Square Theater shows artsy films, independent productions, foreign movies, and classics. I think I saw "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" there, in original Swedish, last year. (The American re-make with Daniel Craig just won't be the same.)

I'm not sure what to say about the film. The well-respected critics generally seem to like it. I liked it, sort of. It was interesting. I'm glad I saw it. It's rare an artsy movie treats Christianity with so much respect. The plot follows a girl through her childhood to middle age in a "Jesus Freak" type church and culture circa the 1970s. Although some critics call it satirical, it probably is a fair assessment of that culture. I wasn't happy that the main character found it necessary to leave her church and her family to "find herself," but the ending was open-ended enough to allow for her to remain a person of faith, although a person of faith living amidst the challenges of broken myths and symbols.

Saturday Soundings

2011-10-22T10:26:00.006-04:00

And I thought my cell phone bill was high: Steeler Troy Palamalu was fined $10,000 for using a cell phone during the game last week. He had been injured, was having concussion-like symptoms, and borrowed a cell phone to call his wife and tell her he was okay. Rules are rules, I guess, but it wasn't like he was drinking beer and eating Popeye's chicken in the clubhouse, a la the BoSox. I was at a meeting away from church the other day, and two people's cell phones rang during the meeting. Why don't I have the authority to levy fines?

His Honor: Monroeville is a small enough "town" that I have been able to know all three of the mayors in my 13+ years here at least a little. Sean Logan, who went on to be State Senator, lived just a few blocks away. He had many friends and supporters in our congregation. James Lomeo's daughter went to grade school with my daughter. Greg Ersenko used to work with the Corl Funeral Chapel. I ran into Greg at the Giant Eagle the other day. Coincidentally, as he was leaving another Monroeville political figure, who is a friend, was coming in. I joked about seeing both "mayors" in less than five minutes.

ELCA Secretary Swartling in taking some heat over a snide remark he made at the Churchwide Assembly about the 517 congregations that have left the ELCA in the past two ywears being mostly small and rural. I guess "this church" doesn't care about small, rural congregations. Actually, the average LCMC and NALC congregation has more members than the average ELCA congregation. In our SW PA Synod, a third to a half of the congregations cannot afford a full time pastor. They have part time ministry, shared minsitry, interim ministry, or lay people authorized by the synod leading them. Among the 15 churches that have left the SW PA Synod are some of the largest and most prominent: St. Mark, Butler, Emmanuel, Export; Zion, Brentwood; and St. Paul, Trauger.

The World Serious and more

2011-10-21T06:44:00.006-04:00

"The World Serious," that's what they say Yogi Berra (left) called it. But, like Yogi really did say, "I didn't say everything I said."

"Nuclear annihilation would render all baseball statistics rather meaningless." Orioles Outfielder John Lowenstein, circa 1979.

The MLB postseason this year has been among the most exciting ever. And thus far, the two WS games between the Rangers and Cardinals have been classic, tense match-ups. What is really spectacular is that the focal points have been the managers' strategies, rather than steroid enhanced players hitting monster home runs. Tony LaRussa, who has never been one of my favorites, is considered a baseball genius. (Regarding football geniuses, Joe Theisman infamously said, "There is no such thing as a genius in football. A genius is a guy like Allen Einstein.") Tony's pinch hitting/pitching changes were considered to have won Game 1 for the Cards (whom I'm rooting for anyway). I think Tony's moves may have cost them Game 2.

Leading 1-0 in the top of the ninth, the Cards' closer Motte gives up two singles and has men on second and third with no outs. LaRussa pulls Motte to bring in his LOOGY (Left-handed one out guy) Arthur Rhodes. I love Arthur Rhodes. He's a formal Oriole and pitched in 900 games before making his first WS appearance. But in that situation you stick with your closer. Rhodes gave up a sac fly, and the game was tied. Rhodes left, and the Rangers scored again.

Bottom of the ninth, trailing 2-1, with a man on first and no outs, LaRussa calls for a sacrifice bunt. That's the play "The Book" calls for. But here I'm with Earl Weaver. You only get 27 outs in a game, and in this situation LaRussa only had three outs to get a run or lose, so you don't give up any of those outs on purpose. Punto fouled off two bunts, on pitches out of the strike zone, and then struck out swinging, at another pitch out of the strike zone. Card's lose, 2-1.

Switching gears: I was on a hospital elevator yesterday. A well-dressed woman gets on the elevator and says that today is "Infection Prevention Celebration Day." She gave us all Hershey Kisses and raffle tickets while extolling the virtues of hand washing. When she got off the elevator, a nurse in scrubs opined, "I wonder if she washed her hands before handing out those Kisses?" Ah. there's nothing quite like infectious disease humor.

Thinking out loud

2011-10-20T08:35:00.003-04:00

I'm "thinking out loud," i.e. my thoughts here are evolving and not necessarily systematic.

There seems to be at least three principles that many Christians today accept whole-heartedly and uncritically. They are not necessarily biblical. They may be variations of biblical truth. They don't address the really big issues of faith, like Christ's vicarious atonement or the Two Natures of Christ. But they seem to the touchstones by which people live and make everyday moral decisions. If you asked them, they might say these are what Christianity is really all about.

Do not judge others.

If you really believe something is right or true, then it's true and right for you.

God made you the way are, so you are good just as you are.

I certainly don't endorse those principles as they are, but let's apply them to me:

I'm fine just the way I am. Whatever I think or feel, whatever my biases or prejudices, it's okay. God gave them to me and I believe them, so others will just have to accept that, without judging me or trying to change me. My opinion is just as good as yours. My own conscience will guide me without any outside help.

Would you want to live in aworld where everyone believed that about themselves? Maybe we already do. It's not the world Christ envisions for us.

Memento Mori

2011-10-19T16:48:00.005-04:00

Late Fall/Halloween/All Saints' Day brings out the morose and macabre in us all.

A dear fried of mine, a pastor, Danny, died several years ago. He was much too young, only in his forties. I recently discovered that both his children are now seminarians. I think that's great. May they be as faithful as he was.

Several years ago I attended a viewing for another deceased pastor. Looking in the coffin I saw that he was dressed in an alb and white stole -- the very same white stole I have. Talk about a memento mori moment ("Remember, you too shall die."). My Uncle George was buried in one of my ties -- all his were too loud. If you knew George, you would understand.

There's nothing funny about death, however... A group of my colleagues and I were reminiscing about a deceased pastor and one said, "I'll never forget the most important thing he taught me." We awaited a pearl of wisdom. What we got was, "He told me to always buy my clerical collars a half size bigger than then what I normally wear and the collar won't pinch my neck so much." Hey, that is good advice...

The photo above is an actual chapel in Portugal made of human bones. The bones come from the monks who have lived at the monastery over the centuries. Over the door to the chapel it says, "Our bones wait for your bones." Memento mori.

Saw my PCP today as a follow up to my peri-tonsillar abscess diagnosis. He said, kind of matter of fact, "They can kill you, you know." Yes, I heard... The good news: I'm clean.

Looking for some good reading, not scary but unsettling: take two by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Young Goodman Brown and The Minister's Black Veil. I'll bet you can download both for free online legally.

I wrote coffin earlier. Properly speaking the box one is buried in is a coffin, not a casket. Technically, a casket is a small box containing jewels. I saw where a group of monks is helping to support themselves by selling handmade solid wood coffins with Christian symbols. They are cool , for coffins. You can find them online if you're interested.

Ever know anyone with the last name Coffin? Graves? Hearse? In York Co. there was a funeral director named Creep. That's true.

Madagascar Mondays

2011-10-17T10:27:00.011-04:00

Our Southwestern Pennsylvania Synod's "sister synod" is the Tulear Synod of the Malagasy Lutheran Church (in Madagascar). The "official" animal of Madagascar, of course, is the Ring Tailed Lemur (above left). Erstwhile Bishiop Donald McCoid had a lemur costume that he would wear to global mission events. I have a precious picture of "Bishop Lemur" and my son. Bishop McCoid also has a great a story about him practicing the sound of a lemur at home late one night, prompting his wife, Sandy, to inquire down the stairs just whatever was going on down there!

Since Bishop McCoid left SW PA the lemur costume has been MIA, or AWOL. Rivaling the lemur these days for popularity (some people keep them as pets -- really!) is the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach, or Hisser for short (above left). Perhaps it's time for our global mission efforts to have a new mascot. I suggest the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. If the synod will buy the costume, I'll gladly play the Hisser at mission events. Making the distinctive hissing sound should be no problem at all, and I think kids would really warm up to these lovable insects. It's not so outrageous; Once at a synod assembly we had a pastor dress as a bee and solicit funds for the World Hunger Appeal saying, "Be/Bee my honey; donate to World Hunger." (That's not the pastor, but Blind Melon's Bee Girl above center.)

Football Strategy

2011-10-16T16:57:00.005-04:00

Enough with all this religious and cultural stuff: Are you ready for some football? (Mon. nites just won't be the same w/o Hank Jr.) I have never coached even one NFL or college game, so I can't claim to be an expert. But this weekend I saw some real ineptitude on the football field and some "interesting" strategy decisions.

Starting with Utah at Pitt Saturday. Trying to run out the clock late in the 4th quarter, Utah was snapping the ball with more than 15 sec. left on the play clock. Why? Pitt throwing two late interceptions made it a moot point, but still. Even more interesting, with Pitt leading 14-6, Utah scores to make 14-12. Why not go for a 2-pt. try and tie the game? They kicked the extra point, which is almost automatic (even in college ball) but were still down by one, 14-13. If they missed the 2-pointer, they would only be down by 2. Either way, a field goal on their next possession would hand them a lead (the odds of scoring a safety are just about infinitesimal), and it's not like Pitt's offense was burning up the field. Never before had I seen a game were special teams produced 2 TDs and the team didn't score otherwise like Pitt did yesterday.

Sunday, Jaguars at Steelers, Jack Del Rio lets 20 sec. run off the clock after Big Ben scrambled for a late 4th quarter first-down. They could have used that 20 sec. on their final drive, which had its coup de grace with a failed Hail Mary pass in the end zone. More interesting, again, late in the 4th quarter, down 17-10 and the ball deep in Steelers' territory, Jack goes for the field goal on 4th down rather than going for it. They kicked it, but that still put them down by four points, and another field goal was not going help them if the Steelers didn't score again (which they didn't). If the Steelers had scored to make it 24-13, the game would be out of reach, but not if it had been 24-17 instead.

The Steelers played about 20 mins. of great football, going up 17-0 early in the 2nd quarter. After that I think they got greedy (too many home runs balls that failed) and listless. It's the coach's job to keep the team inspired. A 17 pt. lead really isn't that much anymore, as the nail biting ending proved. Still, as I always say, "a win is a win ," and we're 4-2.

It's also the coach's job to make sure no one head butts the 2010 Defensive Player of the Year.

Fall Forecast

2011-10-15T20:16:00.005-04:00

Can't find the source of this quote, though I've tried: Autumn leaves are beautiful because they are dying.

The leaves turned colors early this year. The old-timers say that a sure sign of a hard winter. Two major (scientific) weather forecasting corporations say the early winter (late November through mid-January) will be wet and colder than normal, with lots of snow. White Christmas? The second half will be wet but warmer. They base these predictions on ocean temperatures, etc. The Farmer's Almanac, however, is predicting a warmer than usual winter all around. We'll see. The excessively wet weather here in September/early October has already knocked down a lot of leaves, although our red maple and Burning Bush are brilliant.

Our first parsonage had a huge, tree-filled backyard. I nearly ruined my back racking leaves that first year. For some reason "Leaf Raking at the Parsonage" was never a well attended youth event. Some of the best advice I ever got was to consider fallen leaves "golden fertilizer" for next year's lawn. Let 'em lay; no need for them in the landfill.

Friday Funnies

2011-10-14T09:08:00.006-04:00

"That's just funny, I don't care who you are." Larry the Cable Guy

I love those weird news stories; here's a sample:

On it's website, Vick's accidentally claims it's been in business for 1,000 years. It says they have been giving relief for 365,000 days and counting -- that's 1,000 years. They meant to say 36,500 days, that's 100 years, but that doesn't look nearly as impressive. You cannot expect people making OTC medications to be exact with numbers, now can you? Yes, take 40 teaspoons of that Nyquil every four minutes.

A well known Chinese restaurant in England is on the verge of going out of business because of a rumor. The rumor is that someone choked on the micro-identification chip of a former racing greyhound while eating at the restaurant. The story is false, but the number of people eating there has declined greatly. There's a great old parody song called "Cat's in the Kettle" (Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle") that includes the line, "If I ordered Moo Shu Pork, why is Garfield on my fork?" Ouch!

Still recommending Lutheran Satire, it's the most fun you can have in a pink chasuble.

More Thursday Thinking

2011-10-13T21:34:00.007-04:00

The saving grace of an otherwise boring sick day at home was discovering Lutheran Satire on Youtube. I'm not sure quite how to describe the animation (see the image to the right), but the content is hilarious. The videos are 3-4 mins. and from an LCMS perspective, with some self-effacing humor and only one torpedo shot at the ELCA. Pokes fun at church signs, Easter Sunrise services, salesman, etc. Especially funny for pastors, but good for any Lutheran. Check it out!

It's still a shock to look in our yard and see my son's motorcycle. He got his license last Saturday. Like any parent would be, I'm concerned, but I'm also proud he achieved his goal of getting the bike and his license. I keep saying I want a "trike" (a motorized three-wheeler) for my "mid life crisis present."

Just 73 days until Christmas.

Hospital Musings

2011-10-13T00:12:00.006-04:00

Being in the hospital gave me lotss of time to read and watch TV.

Book-wise, I switched back and forth between two books.One was Ambrose Bierce's "Civil War Short Stories." It was excellent, but much too serious and depressing for a hospital stay. Full of carnage and death, but even more heavy psychologically. Bierce is perhaps most famous for The Devil's Dictionary, a hilarious and insightful book. Bierce probably died fighting along side Poncho Villa in Mexico, but the film Dusk to Dawn II: The Hangman's Daughter suggests something different. (The photo above is Salma Hayek in both her roles in the original Dusk to Dawn.)

The other book, much lighter and delightful, was a look back at Pro Football in the late '50s and early '60s, The Year That Changed the Game. Historically accurate about a time and a game that has really shaped American culture in so many ways. Fascinating stories about Pete Rozelle, Lamar Hunt, Tex Schramm, etc.

TV-wise, I watched repeats of Law and Order: SVU and CNN, which repeats the same news stories over and over again.

Warren Buffet, one of the richest men in thew world, made $62 million last year, of which $39 million was taxable. Warren is always saying the rich should pay more taxes. Why doesn't Warren just forgo his legitimate deductions and pay taxes on all $62 million? Or just send the IRS a couple million out of the goodness of his heart? If every corporation underpaying for what it receives from the government would kick in a few million to the US Treasury, maybe we wouldn't need to discuss tax increases at all.

The semi-funny story of the day was about a couple with a three-week old baby that got lost in corn maze and called 911 to come rescue them. They were 25 feet from getting out on their own. What are they doing with a three-week old baby in a corm maze?

The Iranians contracted with a Mexican drug cartel to hire an American to bomb a D.C. restaurant to kill a Saudi diplomat, and all this was intercepted by an undercover DEA agent? Is that a new movie plot or something?

A psychologist theorizes that the Judeo-Christian religions grew out of the corporal punishment of children in ancient Mesopotamia. People get paid for thinking up this stuff?

And on the third day

2011-10-12T15:40:00.003-04:00

My minor sore throat turned into a three-day hospitalization at Shady Side. Hard to be believe that a scratchy throat could turn into a condition the ER doc described as potentially life-threatening. I was in so much pain I could not think clearly, not to mention talk or swallow, but those words got through. Scary, yes, but I talked with Jesus and I'm ready to go when he calls. I'd much rather stay here with my wife and family, and do the work I'm called to do, but, when it's time, I'll go to heaven, only because of his righteousness alone, and be happy with him forever.

Tuesday morning they did a surgical procedure on my throat under local anesthesia. Grotesque! Painful! I'd love to bore you and gross you out with the details but I won't. I'm much better now, not 100% but better, and I'm back home. I'll be back in the pulpit Sunday. In the meanwhile, I'll be medicated including some pain killers, thus I am legally and personally not responsible for what I write in this blog for the foreseeable future.

Tuxedo Max

2011-10-10T08:13:00.004-04:00

The title reference is a character in Sailor Moon, a cartoon that was popular when my daughter was about 6 years old.

The "feel good" story of yesterday's 38-17 Steelers ' victory has to be the return of OT Max Starks. Max injured his neck in the middle of the season last year and missed the Steelers' trip to the Super Bowl. During his inactivity his weight ballooned by varying reported amounts, perhaps as much as 60 pounds. He was unceremoniously cut by the Steelers this summer.

But, as seems to be a recurring problem with the Steelers' offensive line, several players got hurt and the unit performed badly. Unwanted by any other team, Max lost weight and worked himself back into shape. The Steelers re-signed him and he started Sunday after only practicing with the team for three days. Max and the rest of line played a great game, giving our running backs their best day of the year and keeping Big Ben off his back (only 1 sack allowed). Welcome back, Max!

A while back I heard an interesting story about Max Starks from a funeral director. The funeral director and his family were having dinner at the Cheesecake factory on Pittsburgh's South Side. Max Starks was also having dinner there. When you're 6'8", 345 lbs., and have been a Steeler for several years, it's hard not to be recognized in Pittsburgh. Although I'm sure many people wanted to, no one approached Max to say "Hello," get a photo or an autograph, etc. Before he left, Max addressed the crowd, "You all have been so respectful of me and my family's privacy, everyone here can have a piece of cheesecake on me." Like they say, the best way to be remembered is to buy a round for the house.

Funeral directors are especially fond of Max Starks. No, he doesn't create business for them, at least not the way you're thinking. Max was raised by a single parent, his mother, who also happens to be a funeral director. Max grew up in a funeral home. His mother founded and leads an national organization of African-American Women Funeral Directors that is known for the charitable work it does. Max has contributed much time and energy to those charitable activities.

If I wasn't a pastor, I think I'd like to work in the funeral industry. Funeral Directors are some the nicest, and funniest, people I know. I guess you need a sense of humor to survive "the dismal trade," as it used to be called. And funeral directors are trustworthy; they are the last people to let you down. Ouch!

Re yesterday's post: My sore throat became excruciating, a word I do not use lightly, and I got a fever, had trouble swallowing, etc. We wound up at UPMC Urgent Care and it turns out I have an abscess in my throat, that they are treating for strep, and with painkillers and other meds. I'll be out of the office for at least a couple of days. Although I feel a little "out of it" still, I'm most relaxed when I'm writing, so blogging like this is therapy for me.

Sick Day

2011-10-09T16:13:00.005-04:00

In 22+ years of ministry I have missed three unscheduled Sundays due to illness. Twice I called friends on Saturday night to cover for me when I had the flu; another time I called a friend on a Friday when I had a car accident. Once I got through the 8 a.m. service feeling fine; got a little queasy during Sunday School; and then following the Consecration at the 10:30 service turned to the Assisting Minister and said, "You've got to finish the service!" He later told me he could see that I need to leave the chancel right that second -- and it's a very good thing I did. BTW, he did a great job.

Most pastors, myself included, will tough out a Sunday no matter how sick they are. One always must weight the potential risk of passing on a cold or the flu, with importance of making the Word and sacrament available. Many pastors, myself included, have their own techniques for getting through a service when not feeling up to par. Mine includes Tylenol, Listerine, Vitamins B and C, Fisherman's Friend lozenges (or Hall's Menthol Eucalyptus), Vick's Vapo-Rub, lots of strong coffee, and, most importantly, one's own adrenalin and sheer willpower. That's what got me through today with the most painful sore throat I've ever had. Then, like most pastors, I came home and collapsed. Must see the Doc tomorrow. Blogging helps distract me.

Mmm, Bacon

2011-10-07T22:17:00.006-04:00

Over breakfast, at the STS Retreat, someone remarked, "Bacon was one of God's better ideas." Never missing the opportunity to be a Smart Alec I said, "Then why did He withhold it from us for so long?" To which someone replied, "Refrigeration." And THAT is a popular misconception.

Peter's vision in Acts was God's declaration that now all foods were kosher for the Christian. That was not the beginning of modern refrigeration techniques. That would occur 1800-1900 years later. God, being God and all, can make whatever laws He wants. If not eating pork was His plan for a.) setting the Jews apart from the gentiles, and b.) showing humans how impossible it is to keep His laws, then so be it. It has little or nothing to do with sanitary food storage.

Still today you get people who say things like, "If you eat pork you cannot condemn adultery; both are parts of the Law that Jesus overcame." Oh, get real! If two people were committing adultery on the sheet in Peter's vision, I'll reconsider my position.

This post has nothing to do with the fact that Yom Kippur began at sundown.

Your Daily Draper

2011-10-07T08:12:00.007-04:00

On the hit TV series Mad Men, main character Don Draper gets a lot of memorable lines. This one will definitely wind up in a sermon soon:

Listen, I'm not here to tell you about Jesus. You already know about Jesus. He either lives in your heart or he doesn't.

Yes, WWDDD = What would Don Draper do?

Washington National Cathedral

2011-10-06T21:02:00.003-04:00

The Washington National Cathedral is owned and operated by the Episcopal Church, USA. It was damaged in the August 23 earthquake. Repairs are estimated in the tens of millions of dollars and restoration may take a decade. Certainly the building needs to made safe. But couldn't those tens of millions of dollars be better spent on the hungry and homeless than on aesthetics?

Trivia Tidbit: In the Cathedral's "Creation" stained glass window, there is an actual moon rock embedded (a gift from an Episcopalian astronaut, sanctioned by NASA).

Personal Trivia Tidbit: I attended a Reformation service at the Cathedral, twenty-some years ago. Parking was very sparse and difficult. After the service, upon returning to my car, I found someone had tried to pull into a small parking space behind me, hit my car, and locked our bumpers. As it turns out, the driver of the other car was the Rev. Dr. Carl Mau, former President of the Lutheran World Federation. I got tell everyone my car was hit by "the Lutheran Pope."

Radio, Radio

2011-10-05T21:04:00.006-04:00

The title, of course, is a reference to Elvis Costello's rock anthem.

Usually I load up the CD changer in my car with Classic Rock: The Stones, the Beatles, the Who, the Guess Who, Traffic, Jethro Tull, Yes, Springsteen, Jo Jo Gunne, Tom Petty, John Mellencamp, David Bowie, Peter Gabriel, etc. From Advent I through Epiphany, I listen to a wide variety of Advent and Christmas music, from Dean Martin to Gregorian Chant (where is the country of Gregoria anyway?). During Lent, it's gospel and classical, with the emphasis on sacred music, e.g. the St. Olaf Choir, etc. Lately, I've given the CDs a break and turned to... gasp... radio.

There are four stations, maybe five, I switch back and forth between. One is Word FM 101.5, Christian Talk. I really enjoy New Life Live and Through the Bible with J. Vernon McGee. Two is WESA FM 90.5, Essential Public Radio, news and talk from a more liberal perspective. Three is WQED FM 98.3, Classical and NPR. Four is KQV AM 1410, news and talk from a more conservative perspective. Sometime I'll go to "Bob" FM 96.9, a Classic Rock station. or K-Love FM 98.3, Contemporary Christian Music. If I'm in the car when the Steelers or Penguins are playing, I follow their station, I think it's WDVE 102.5 FM. It's a shame we don't get KFUO, the Missouri Synod radio ministry. You can get it over the Internet. Google it.

The car radio is not a good medium for classical music. The little speakers don't do it justice and the pieces are too long to be listened to in the entirety on short trips.

Collared

2011-10-05T10:42:00.005-04:00

I wear a clerical collar practically everyday just about everywhere I go. The collar invites strangers to start up conversations with me, which is exactly why I wear it. Most of the conversations are pleasant and positive. But some are not...

Several years ago someone called out at me as I walked past them on a parking lot, "Hey, pastor, do you pray for women on or do you prey on women?" That gave the opportunity to use one of my favorite rejoinders, "Your question tells me a lot more about you than my answer will tell you about me." He replied, "Oh, you must be one of those 'Whoop-de-do" guys!" (I am not sure what a Whoop-de-do guy is, but I don't think I'm one.) So I replied, in all seriousness, "You seem to have a problem. If you'd like to talk about it, I'd talk with you." At that he muttered and cursed, and I walked away.

Another time, in a discount department store while shopping, someone said to me as he walked by, "Do they make you wear that dog collar?" "No one makes me wear anything; I can wear whatever I want, and I choose to wear this because he gets me into conversations with people like you," I said. That seemed to open him up and we had a good conversation, as good a theological conversation as you can have in a discount department store, about the church, and especially his frustrations with organized religion.

These are on my mind today because I had a conversation earlier today with someone who seemed very interested to talk with me while he thought I was a Catholic priest. Once he understood I was a Lutheran pastor, he abruptly ended the conversation.

Ramblings and Rumblings

2011-10-04T20:28:00.004-04:00

I haven't been able to sign in to the ELCA's Living Lutheran site for a couple of weeks, and now it appears the site is gone altogether. I can't access it from my browser or the ELCA website. Being Lutheran, I blame myself. I've emailed the editor to see if the project is still running. I hope so.

Got an email form a STS brother requesting prayers for the Coptic Christians in Egypt. They are suffering mightily and the international press is grossly under-reporting their plight. Churches burning and Christians martyred doesn't seem to interest the media. Pictured right is the Coptic Pope Shenouda III.

Likewise, very few news stations have anything to say about the Iranian pastor sentenced to death. At least they are all over the Brad, Angie and Jen story.

The Pittsburgh area had some excitement today as an international fugitive was captured in Verona (which is where my son works). Both SWAT and FBI teams, as well as every policeman for miles around, was in on the situation. Good news: they caught the accused murderer/kidnapper with no one being injured. Bad news: it shut down Allegheny River Blvd. near Center Ave. for more than 3 hrs.

Ghost Stories

2011-10-03T20:38:00.005-04:00

I like to read ghost stories in October as the days become shorter, the nights longer, the temperatures cooler, and the trees bearer. It is said that Shakespeare's "Scottish Play" was first performed in October. The Bard was not above pandering to his audience and the royals. I picked up five books for $2.50 at the Half-Price Bookstore the other day, including an anthology of short ghost stories. Personally I have no opinion on the existence of ghosts. Theologically, I cannot argue for their existence. (As I was typing that last sentence, the ice cube in my glass popped and shattered, shooting liquid up and out of the glass, making me jump and shiver. Spooky!) My son has a ghost detecting app on his smart phone and it detected spirit activity near our fireplace. Our house is 75 years old and I have never experienced anything unusual here, although it might be cool to have a fun ghost. I've talked to people who believe that their houses are haunted and claim to have seen and heard ghosts in their homes that were not much fun.

In the anthology was a story by Bram Stoker (pictured) of Dracula fame. This short story is called The Judge's House. Without spoiling the story too much, the story has a small but interesting theological point. The main character, a mathematics doctoral candidate, is confronted with a huge, evil looking rat, that later turns out to be the ghost of a wicked judge, or perhaps the devil himself. When he first sees the rat, he throws several books at it all of which miss the target, except the last, which the rat was frightened of from the moment he saw it. As it turns out, the books that missed were mathematics books, the one that chased the rat away, for a time at least, was the Bible. Good message: the Word overcomes evil. But later, when confronted by the ghost judge/devil, the protagonist does not flee to the Bible for protection. Why not?

A Lutheran church in our area is taking their youth group on a Halloween weekend trip to a local cemetery, supposedly haunted, for a scavenger hunt. Not sure how I feel about that either. The story (which may be only legend) is that there was church connected to the cemetery and an orphanage. The deranged pastor burnt down the church with the orphans inside, and failing to kill himself in the blaze, was hung by his parishioners. I'm sure it was not the only congregation that ever wanted to lynch its pastor.

For more on Lutherans, murder and ghosts read Hex. It's the account of a 1920's murder involving witchcraft and a Lutheran church in York County. The church still exists and they have to close off their cemetery every October to keep out the curious and vandals.

That's Blasphemy

2011-09-30T21:56:00.004-04:00

Today, September 30 every year, in fact, is International Blasphemy Day. No. I'm not making that up. Truth really is stranger than fiction.

On this day atheists, "freethinkers," and the like are encouraged to blaspheme as an exercise in free speech. It's interesting that a lot of those same people would label other exercises in free speech as "hate speech" and demand that they be criminalized, but you cannot expect consistency. Proponents of Blasphemy Day say all beliefs should be questioned. True, but cannot one question a belief without blaspheming it? For instance, Christians struggle with doubt all the time, but that's not blasphemy. In some circles questioning Darwinism is considered blasphemy. Here's my blasphemy then: Darwin's theory has some holes in it! There now, aren't you glad we have Blasphemy Day

Blasphemy is illegal in Germany, Denmark and Finland, all good Lutheran countries, as well as Catholic Ireland. Why is blasphemy legal in the USA? Do we love free speech that much or respect religion so little? Iran, Afghanistan, and Egypt also outlaw blasphemy, but you can be sure some deities are protected from slurs and others are not. Saying nice things about Jesus could be a crime there, so watch out.

BTW, I think it's interesting when atheists refer to themselves as "freethinkers." A freethinker is not free to think that God exists, thus making freethinkers really slaves to atheist dogma. And it's not as if all Christians think exactly alike. Look at all the differences between the denominations, or look even at how many different brands of Lutherans there are in this country.

More Retreat Stuff

2011-09-28T16:23:00.004-04:00

Some of this may have been reported in 2009, but, hey, if it's new to you...

Finally got my 30 min. walk in before the rain returned. This included the outdoor Stations of the Cross. I always find that a powerful devotion for me. They also have a replica of the Grotto of Lourdes. Interesting, but not my tradition. There is some beautiful and unique statuary on campus, such as Moses with "horns" and a St. Thomas Aquinas that is not obese.

We prayed Terce and Sext earlier. I'm not sure I've ever prayed either, and certainly not both in the same day. At Terce, eight or nine new members signed the Rule, i.e., joined the Order, i.e., became STS members. (I joined in 2009.)

I just came from Private Confession. That is such a powerful service. I wish more people would avail themselves of it. I'll hear anyone's confession anytime. (And, no, I won't tell you what my penance is!)

Had lunch with two ELCA and one NALC pastor. Some people seem to think that NALC and the ELCA are in dialog about reunification. That is NOT happening. They might talk with one another, but neither NALC nor the ELCA are changing their positions.

People often ask about the food. For institutional food, it's not bad. Burgers and fries for lunch, with a choice of beef, turkey or soy burgers. There is always a soup and salad bar, and a veggie alternate. The coffee is Doue Egberts and the tea is Bigelow (I prefer the Cinnamon Stick). It was eggs and sausage for breakfast with fruit, cereals, rolls, etc. Every night at 10:00 P.M. there is a reception with red, white, or blush and popcorn/pretzels.

Iconic

2011-09-28T09:44:00.004-04:00

The symbol of the Society of the Holy Trinity is Rublev's Icon of the Holy Trinity. It depicts the three angels that visited Abraham. This icon has a central place in all our STS worship services.

Viewing the icon the past couple days during worship, from different distances, and at different angles, with varying amounts of light, it looks a little different to me each time.

For instance, sometimes the faces/heads of the angels and their halos all meld into one indistinguishable circle; other times the faces can be seen but not the halos; and at still other times the faces and halos are distinct. The leaves on the tree in the background sometimes appear to be puffs of smoke (from an incense brazier, i.e., the chalice on the table), or wispy clouds, or steam rising from a volcano. Under certain light conditions, the garments of the angels appear to move, as if blown by a breeze. I'm sure that all means something, but it's too mystical for me at this time of morning. After all, icons are "windows into heaven."

Retreat #2

2011-09-27T21:09:00.003-04:00

The weather here turned really ugly -- rain just about all day. I took a short walk down to the pier anyway for some photos. Love the lake.

Met another Lutheran pastor and STS member, Lynn Ash -- no relation.

The STS has more than 250 pastors, most of them are here. We include ELCA, ELCIC, LCMS, NALC and LCMC as well as a few others. I was told that Lutheran denominations not in pulpit and altar fellowship with other Lutherans can receive the Eucharist here as long as our Senior consecrates it because he was elected by those pastors. I never saw anything like that in any church's policy statements. (I once attended a clandestine pan-Lutheran Communion service under the rubric, "What happens in ______ stays in _______. " Wild, huh?)

We have worship several times a day: Matins, Terse, Sext, Vespers, and Compline, along with a Service of the Word and a Eucharist scheduled too. There is "free" time for study, prayer, and Private Confession. There are also teaching sessions with noted theologians, like Dr. Rush. I haven't found the bookstore yet; I will. As our Senior Frank Senn said in his introductory remarks, "This isn't a vacation." He also reminded us pastors not to try to "lead worship from our chair" -- thank you, Frank.

I didn't bring my cassock this year. That had more to do with the space in my suitcase than it being a theological statement. The first night was not officially part of the retreat and everyone was very casual: blue jeans, khakis, polos, and sweatshirts. Today it's about 98% clerical collars and 50% cassocks. Any color other than black stands out. Who was that person in the turquoise jacket?

It's nice that they have a guest computer lab, but they are kind of slow. Some still have 2.5 in. floppy drives! The keyboard I'm typing on is wearing out. What letters are worn away the most? L, E, R, O and I. Hey, that spells Le Roi, French for "the king," and the origin of the name Leroy. Coincidence?

Retreat

2011-09-27T08:44:00.003-04:00

Once again, I'm remote blogging from the Society of the Holy Trinity retreat at St. Mary's of the Lake. It's been two years since I've been here and it's still beautiful. Walked by the woods last night and it was lovely. Can't wait to walk and sit by the lake. What a great place for some devotional reading. Serene! I'm reading Why I Am a Lutheran and A Theology to Live By. The worship, the daily offices, have been wonderful. Old friend Paddy Rooney is our chaplain. The singing is superb. It's so nice to hear hymns sung in harmony. And it's good to see all my STS brothers. It was a long trip here, 8+ hours, but there was lots of good conversation in the car with the four of us and a CD of Bach motets.

Race

2011-09-22T23:24:00.004-04:00

"It's a complicated world, with many misunderstandings. That's why we have lawyers."

That line came from the play Race which I saw at PICT (the Pittsburgh Irish and Classical Theater) tonight. It's about race relations. Very thought provoking. Well balanced. Well acted. Famous author. Recommended. Warning: Strong language.